Your Eyes Vacant And Stained
by kerry596
Summary: My Chemical Romance Frerard fanfiction. Includes homosexual smut, baaaad language and violence etc etc. - Gerard and Frank meet and, along with a new found friend, forge their futures.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay! So, this was written (and completed) as a fanfiction on the MCRmydotnet, but I was asked to post it on here for a few of my friends. So, I'll post the chapters up whenever I can.**

**Note, this was my FIRST EV ER fanfic, so from time to time it may suck.  
But yeah, in total I believe there are 45 chapters to post up, but I will get there! **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Franks POV 

"Fraaaank...Fraaaank"

The voice swirled around me, distant, heavenly.

"Fraaaank"

The voice was so smooth, so pure; it sounded like an angel, like something Holy, some-thing-

"Mr Frank Iero! Wake up!"  
I awoke with a jerk. I squinted my eyes against the light, struggling to focus.

"Well, now that _dear_Mr Iero has decided to join us from his _lovely_ dreams, let's get on with our lesson, shall we?" The teacher drew a tight lipped smile as she turned to the board.

I cringed as the class giggled. '_Oh crap. Why do I always do that?'_ My mind was foggy as I tried to pay attention to the board and not the people chortling behind me. Suddenly I felt a sharp jab in my back. I glanced round to see the culprit, none other than Jimmy Alwart.

"Yo shitster, way to go! Were you enjoying your _wet dreams?_" He and his goons laughed and I turned back and glanced downwards.

'"Ooooh fuck…" I breathed. My skinnies were tight as tight could be. I bit my lip and leant forwards, trying to think of serious things like politics and religion, any-thing to calm the storm in my jeans. I shifted uncomfortably, trying to find a position that would take my mind off of it.

As the bell rang for end of lesson, I got up as quickly as I could and hurried to the door.

"Mr Iero! I want to talk to you!" Ms Quinn called, but I ignored her and walked out the class, turning a sharp right and keeping my eyes on the floor. I made my way to my locker, watching the pattern of the shiny linoleum floor with fake fascination. As I reached my locker I hastily put in the code and flung it open. I glanced up at the inside door, and breathed a quiet sigh as Laurens face smiled out at me. I stroked the shiny photograph tenderly, tracing the outline of her face and body with the tip of my finger. I stared at it for a second more before I heard the familiar footsteps that I looked forward to every day.

"Lauren!" I called, smiling broadly as I leant backwards to see past the open locker door.

"Heya cutie!" She gushed, leaning in and giving me a peck on the cheek. Her brown hair bobbed around her head as she pulled back to look at me.

"Oooh, did you fall asleep in class again?" she asked, gazing at me in concern.

"Yeah, kinda. I was just tired. Late night last night." I replied. I smiled at her reassuringly; rubbing at my eyes glazed with that 'just-woken-up' look they always seemed to have these days. The last thing I wanted was for her to be worried about me.

"What class do you have now?" she chirruped, watching me with her brown eyes. She clutched at a pile of chemistry books, holding them against her chest, indicating that she was looking forward to her next lesson.

"Chem, same as you. Shame we're in different classes though." I gave a sigh as I realised that I was in chemistry with Jimmy Alwart again. He wasn't going to let me off nicely for what happened in maths.

"Okay, I'll see you later then, don't wanna be late!" She giggled as the bell went and leant in for another kiss. I automatically kissed her, not even thinking about it. She turned away with a whirl of sleek hair and perfume, her shoes clacking as she ran to her class.

I stood watching her as she moved. She was so lively, so animated. It was amazing to wonder what made her start to talk to me in the first place. After a couple of moments of thinking, I turned and started to slowly make my way to my class. What did it matter if I was late? That just meant less time to deal with Jimmy. Worked for me.

I eventually got to the door and gave it a slight push. I could hear every-one hush and could practically feel their eyes turn to the door as they thought: '_Oh here we go, late again.'_

I didn't look up as I went in, hoping not to draw too much of the teachers attention.

"Frank"  
_Shit…_

"Frank you're late again. Why?"  
I shrugged, still not looking up.

"Well if you think you're so smart that you don't need to come to my class on time, then explain to me what chemical fusion is?"  
I paused.

"I dunno. Couple of coloured liquids going 'boom'?"

A couple of people giggled. I heard some-one from the front of the class give a husky laugh.

'_What the-? Did the teacher just find that funny??_'

I looked up confused.

'_Holy Mother of Fucking Christ….'_

"Ah yes. I'd like you to meet the new student. Gerard Way."

I looked at him, and he looked at me.

"Hey Frank." He breathed.


	2. Chapter 2

Franks POV

I gawped at him, not knowing what else to do. He watched me with his hazel eyes, scrutinizing me, never blinking. He was casually leant against the far wall, relaxed and calm, one knee bending out and in again with the foot resting against the wall, the other on the floor. He had his hands in the pockets of his skinnies, tight legged but loose enough in the pockets for him to fit his hands into. And his hair, oh his hair! It was practically a black mop, unbrushed and left to fall as it pleased. It fell into his eyes, flicking sideways to allow him to see.

He was smirking at me, a little lopsided smile that made him look all-knowing. As I watched, the smirk lengthened, growing larger until I could almost see his teeth.

It was then that I became aware of a hand waving in front of my face and Mr. Catchemalds voice going "Hellooooo?" in a horrible wailing way. I snapped back into reality.

"Eh…hey…" I muttered and made my way to my desk, head tipped down and eyes never leaving the floor. I sat in my seat and started shuffling my essay papers that had been handed out, trying to make it look like I was unfazed by it. I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat, blinking my tired eyes and making out that my essay was truly fascinating. I stole a glance over the papers at him.

My heart missed a beat when I realised he was still looking at me, that smirk having moved back to its original position.

Mr. Catchemald cleared his throat and said harshly "Well, seeing as Frank is so fascinated by the new student, why don't we sit them together, hm?" He looked to the class for a response.

People sneered and agreed, others looked around nervously, while Jimmy – dear old Jimmy – gave a wolf whistle and shouted "Watch out Frank doesn't get any wet dreams around him sir!" which made the class erupt with laughter, most of them having been in my maths class.

The teacher stifled a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand before turning to the new guy as a sign to take a seat. Gerard looked at me for a second, as if considering objecting, but then he made an exaggerated motion as he pulled away from the wall and came to the seat next to me. He had to squeeze past my back and I felt shivers run up and down my spine as he brushed past. Then he sat in his seat, leant back with a loud sigh and placed his feet on the table.

And that was how I came to know Gerard Way.


	3. Chapter 3

Gerards POV

Well, I guess I found this schools version of a bad guy.

He wandered in 15 minutes late, staring down at the floor, looking like one Hell of a pathetic excuse for a bad guy. But – I noticed – snaking down his left arm was a maze of tattoos, continuing along his knuckles, spelling some-thing out, but I didn't manage to get a proper look. I saw another one on his neck as he turned to look at the class laughing at him. A scorpion, as high up on his neck as was possible. I also noticed his piercings. I wasn't such a fan of needles myself, but I must admit, they did look good. An earring in each ear, and a ring on the left of his bottom lip.

I took all this in as I looked at him staring at me, his mouth hanging open slightly. The teacher looked at me, then at him. Then he started waving his hand in front of his face calling to him. It was like he'd clicked a bloody switch or some-thing. Suddenly the Frank guy snapped back into existence and looked at the floor again, mumbling 'hey' to me and skulking off to his seat. When he got there he started fiddling with some papers and hunching over. I was about to look back at the teacher when I saw that Frank was peeping over his papers at me. What a time to play a game of hide and seek with me.

The teacher cleared his throat and said that I should go sit with Frank, which brought up a remark about Frank having wet dreams. Poor guy.

I glanced at the person who said it, some butch tough guy who thought he was king of the school.

'_Not for long pal…'_ I thought to myself. I looked at Frank again. I momentarily considered going to sit elsewhere and see how he reacted but I decided my best bet was to just sit next to him. His chair and the desk behind were pretty close, so I had to press between them. Okay, so I was a bit quick on the whole physical part of it all, but I had to see his reaction. As I moved past, I pressed forward a bit. He shivered. Just like I thought he would.

As I sat down I let out a sigh.

So now I was stuck in this fucking place. My……fourth school in 5 months? No, My fifth. One school each month. I wondered how long I'd stay here for.

As I sank into my imaginings, I leant back and placed by boots on the top. I rolled my head back and closed my eyes. I didn't give a fuck who saw me. I was tired and so I would rest if I wanted to.

Anyway, it would be pretty fun sitting with this guy.

I'll see how it goes.


	4. Chapter 4

Franks POV

_'Okay, focus Frank, focuuuuss…'_ I bit my lip intently. _'Think of Lauren, think of Lauren, think of Lauren!' _I gazed into the air, my brain struggled to picture Laurens happy smiling face. But God…I couldn't even remember what she looked like. My brain drew a blank. Did she have blonde hair? No…red? No……brown! Yes, she had brown hair. I smiled to myself, as if it were a great accomplishment to remember my girlfriends hair colour.

"Heeey, Franks getting excited again!" I heard the familiar jeering voice of Jimmy. I heard his friends laughing and slapping him on the back. As I turned to glare at them, I noticed that Gerard guy blink open an eye. He turned his head lazily towards Jimmy.

"Why are you so interested in Franks sex life?"

The question caught Jimmy off guard. He gave Gerard a quizzical look, not understanding what he meant.

Gerard continued his cold gaze, cool and expectant.

"I just said…why are you so interested in Franks sex life?"

I bit my lip and slid my eyes towards Jimmy. I could feel a tension in the air. Any second I was expecting Jimmy to throw his chair back and bellow like a gorilla , beating his chest and roaring before smashing Gerard in the face.

But he didn't.

Instead, he just sat there, staring dumbly at him.

Gerard was getting impatient.

"You seem so interested in Franks sex life, it's almost as if you want to be _included_ in it."

At this, Jimmy recoiled. "What the fuck? No way! That's just totally sick! I ain't no faggot!"

"Are you sure about that?" Gerards reply so calm it was almost as if he wasn't really in this conversation, and instead was talking to some-one else.

I glanced around the room and realised that every-one was watching us, waiting for Jimmys reply. Jimmy noticed, and the thought of everybody seeing him as the _victim_ caused him to hesitate. Every-one took this as an answer of "No, I'm gay." and turned away and started whispering.

Even Mr. Catchemald arched his eyebrows.

Gerard continued to watch Jimmy, analysing his every move. He gave a smirk as he realised that Jimmys face was burning up with rage, a red flooding through his face.

He took deep breath before he bellowed "FUCK YOU!" and ran from his seat out the door. As the door slowly closed, I could have sworn I heard him sobbing.

I sat up in my seat, suddenly aware of the effect of what just happened.

This guy sitting next to me had – in no less than 5 minutes – broken through Jimmy Alwarts defences and reduced him to a sobbing wreck, and as a bonus, now had a rumour going round that he was gay. And what amazed me most was, _he never even moved!_ He hadn't used violence of any kind! The most movement he'd done was craning his neck round to get a better look at him.

I heard him shuffling about next to me and looked over at him. He was looking at me, a big grin on his face. His eyes sparkled with excitement. He winked and gave me a thumbs up sign.

I gave a nervous smile back.

Why had that wink gotten me so interested?  
I kept thinking about it, playing through my mind again and again. I couldn't focus on what the teacher was drawing on the board, all I could think of was his face, smiling and winking. I didn't dare look at him again, I could feel him glancing over at me from time to time so I didn't dare look back incase our eyes met.

After the bell went, I didn't see him again for the rest of the day. He left the chemistry class and wandered off some-where. I didn't think I should ask him where he was going, I barely knew the guy after all.

As I met with Lauren at my locker I had to blink a few times before I recognised her. That guy was on my mind so much that I didn't even remember my own girlfriend.


	5. Chapter 5

Franks POV

"Hey Frank"  
His voice was husky, barely audible.

I look up from my bed.

"What are you doing here!?" I gasp. I pull the covers up, for modesty's sake. I've taken to sleeping naked, and the last thing I want right now is for my privates to be on full show.

He smirks as he sees my futile attempt to cover myself.

"There's no point in that, it'll be off again in a moment…" he purrs.

I stare up at him.

What's left of the moon shines on him, showing him up in black, blue and white. He's clad in black, just like he was in school. He's still wearing his skinnies, but he's now wearing a t-shirt and jacket. He can tell I'm checking out what he's wearing.  
"That desperate to get them off me huh?" he whispered, giggling slightly. I look up at him again, into his eyes. They're full of a masked lust and energy.

"What are you doing here?" I repeat my question.

He shrugs. "Just……dropping in for a visit." He smiles again, showing his pearly whites. I keep staring at him. I don't know what else to do. Here I am, laying naked in my bed while Gerard stood over me, filled with lust. It was – to say the least – awkward.

I blink my eyes, struggling to focus them in the dark.

Before I know it he's leaning down over me, breathing onto my neck. His breath is like a poison, making my reactions sluggish. It seems to take me forever to turn my head to face him. By the time I manage to look at him, he's already started to lick and nibble on my neck. I feel my muscles tense as he moves over my throat, planting tender kisses along the sensitive vein. He starts to kiss down my torso, leaning over me and kissing me so softly it feels like a feather.

He slowly brings his left hand up and starts to brush it against my outer thigh. My leg seems to freeze at his touch. He laughs inwardly as he feels my body tense. He turns at looks at me, staring deep into my own eyes.

"What's the matter? Nervous?" he smiles again, a seductive, cheeky grin. No. I knew exactly what was wrong. I sat up straight, staring at him. The smile faded slightly, worried that he had scared me. Instead, I put my hand out and brushed my fingers against his chin, pulling him towards me. As if he suddenly understood what I wanted, he brought himself in towards me, and pressed his lips against mine. My urge satisfied, I opened my mouth in a moan of satisfaction, and he took his chance to slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue played with mine, and without hesitation, I began to passionately kiss him back. I ran my tongue along his teeth and the roof of his mouth as he explored my mouth. I groaned into his mouth, pleasure coursing through me.

He pulls back slowly, examining my face. He then looks down the bed, down to where the sheet is barely covering my modesty.  
"Some-one is getting excited…" he breathes.

I follow his gaze.

There's that tell-tale bulge.

He looks back at me, smirking.  
"Had I better relieve Mister Iero of his troubles?" He cocks his eyebrow at me, his cheekiness is infectious.

"I guess you'd better." I reply, so quietly I'm unsure if he heard me.

He blinks at me for a second, before he uses one finger nail to trail down my chest, stopping at where the sheet covers me.

"Should I be nice? Or should I tease you a little longer?" There's that smirk again. I can't hold myself back any longer. I grab him by the shirt and pull him towards me. He falls onto the bed with me, kissing me frantically. Within a matter of seconds I've pulled off his jacket and shirt.

"I'll warn you Mister Iero; I have a dislike for wearing underwear." He grins cheekily, his eyes sparkling. The thought of my ultimate prize being that much closer only encourages me to try and get the skinnies of quicker. I've never felt like this before. Sure, I've gotten a little hot with girls in my time, but never had I felt quite like this. There seemed to be electricity in the air, surging through me, zapping between us. At that moment, there was such electricity that my thoughts short-circuited into oblivion. Gerard had now slipped out of his jeans and pressed himself down hard into the bed so that we touched.

"Fuuuuuck!" I almost screamed as I felt his member against mine. I could hear his breathing, hard and fast. It beat against my neck, hot and willing. He looked up, and our eyes locked. His hazel eyes stared into my green eyes, and we simply lay there for a second like this, captured in each others eyes. Then he slipped his hands down between the sheets.

"Gerard, fuck!" I can't stop myself. He was kissing my chest, the hand between the sheets relentless. I can feel it; I could feel it surging through me. "I-I-shit! Gerard I'm gonna-!" I can't string a single sentence together, all logic is long gone, but he understands what I mean. He smothers my mouth with his own.

"Uh, aaah!" I can't hold it back. I have to be noisy, I just can't help it. He begins to groan with me, until we're just moaning in tuneless symphony. Things around us seem to blur as he pulls away.

He looks away from me, his hand motion seems to be slowing.

"Frank!?" A voice calls from far away.

I look down at Gerard, my eyes hazy, drugged with passion.

"Frank!? Are you alright? What's going on in there!?"

I open my eyes. Sunlight floods into the bedroom. I blink, dazzled.

"Frank? Frank??"  
I glance towards to the door, just as it flies open.

"Shit, mum!" I bolt upright, yanking the covers over myself.

A voice breathes 'no point in that, it'll be off again in a moment…'

I look around the bed, and around my room.

Mum sees me looking around and follows my gaze.

"Frank, who's Gerard?"

I blink at her.

"What?"

"I asked you: Who is Gerard?"

"Gerard?"  
"Yes! You were just shouting his name, who is he?"

'Shit!'

"Uh…"  
I freeze. A worrying sensation is between my legs. Ever so slightly, I turn my head and look down to the sheets, soaked with white.

"Fuck mum!" I shout. "I'm naked! Get out! Get out for Fuck sakes!!"

Her eyes widen as she slips back and pulls the door closed.

I blink, my breath slowing. I look down at the stained sheets, unable to fully understand what just happened. Again, I glance around the room, expecting…what? What was I expecting? It was just a dream.

Nothing but a dream.

I give a deep sigh.

'_Holy Fuck…' _ And I had to face the damn guy at school again today.

Double chemistry.

I grin.

This is going to be the best fucking chemistry lesson _ever_.


	6. Chapter 6

Franks POV

I gently pushed the door open. Again, I can feel the eyes boring into the door, watching and waiting for any chance to pick on me. I glanced around the class, my eyes resting on my desk. My _empty_ desk. I fought back the urge to let the disappointment show on my face. I made my way over to the desk, ignoring the irritated sounds coming from Mr. Catchemald. As I flop into my chair I hear him clear his throat, ready to talk.

"Well, Frank has finally joined us, it's a shame that Mr Way can't-"

He's cut off by the door banging open, and every-one turns to see a bed-head Gerard standing there stretching as he yawns: "Morning motherfuckers!", turning and giving everyone a groggy smile before ambling along to our desk. Today, I'd purposefully pushed my chair out a little more than usual. The gap he had to pass through was smaller than it was even yesterday. He stands beside my chair for a second, studying the gap. Through a sideways glance I managed to notice the tiniest hint of a smile. His calm gaze moved up to my eyes, but I drew them away quickly. I could have sworn I heard the tiniest breath of a giggle. When it was obvious that I wasn't going to move in for him, he began shuffling about, so I turned my head, trying to look casual. It took me a second to realise I was staring at his skinnies-clad ass.

'_You clever little shit…_' I thought. I was like he'd guessed my plan and purposefully foiled it. I decided to continue simply watching him. As he was squeezing through the gap he came face-on to Jimmy and his goons. Without hesitation he leant forward and said "Morning ladies", giving a tip of an imaginary hat.

As he leant over, the jeans tightened around his backside and my head snapped forward causing me to sit bolt upright in my seat, my eyes wide. Finally, he got to his seat and flopped down in it, giving a contented sigh. Just like yesterday he assumed the position of leaning back with his feet on the desk and his head rolled back. He blinked open an eye and gave me that smirk. "Morning princess." He muttered.

"Morning…uh…Gerard." I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying 'prince'.

He closed his eye again and shifted slightly to get comfy. In the following silence I heard all the girls sighing in unison behind me. I looked at them in surprise to find them all staring dreamily at Gerards relaxed figure.

As I sat there copying out notes from the board, I kept thinking about last nights dream. My main worry was about whether I would start to daydream about it. I mean, if I was screaming his name during my sleep, what was I going to do while I was half-asleep in class?

I stole a glance at him. He was still just laying there, shifting from time to time as he sought that ultimately comfortable position. That dream, I just couldn't get it out of my head. Why had I dreamt it, why had it felt so real? I could have sworn that when I got up this morning I could still _taste_ him in my mouth.

I kept thinking about it. I know I shouldn't have. I really can't help myself.

Before I knew it, I was blinking my eyes open, my face resting in my crossed arms. I snap my neck upright, to find everyone in the class staring at me, mouths open.

Mr. Catchemald is struggling to find words.

Despite my entire body screaming at me not to, I turn my head to look at Gerard. He's sitting upright, casually taking a drag from a cigarette. He's rocking backwards and forwards on the back legs of his chair, and he's watching _me._ I think I know exactly what has happened.

I stand up, my legs wobbling. I shakily make my way to the door, not daring to look at any-one. I can feel their piercing eyes watching me as I leave. But mostly, I feel _his_ calm gaze looking after me. _That_ was why I just had to leave.

Away from the eyes, I manage to gain some control over my legs. They aren't shaking so much, so I manage to make my way over to my locker. When I get there, I put one arm onto it and rest my forehead on my arm as a pillow.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck…!". I curse as much as I can, wanting to smash my locker to pieces, but the humiliation is so fresh and raw that I can't make myself do any-thing.

All I want to do is sink into a hole and-

"At least you certainly know my name."  
"AAAGHH!"

I spin round, face to face with _him._ He's leaning towards me, that gaze of his locked with mine. He's watching me, waiting for me to say some-thing.

"Wha-what was I saying…what was I _thinking_?" I don't know why I'm asking him. I really don't want to know what I was saying. All he'd said was one sentence and he had already confirmed my doubts.

"I think, you already know." he whispers, still watching me.

There's some-thing in his eyes, some-thing I can't quite explain. They're like a trap, as soon as you look into them you get lost forever with no way out. He blinks lazily, and I take that split second opportunity to look away, any-where, so I do the stupidest of all things and look _down_.

I'm frozen to the spot. He's leaning in close to me, watching me, sharing the fact that I had just dreamt about him and screamed his name out for all to hear, and now I'm staring straight at his crotch.

That contemplating stare follows mine. Now he knows exactly what I'm looking at. And he's probably guessed the thoughts that are flashing across my mind too.

When you're trapped against a locker door by the guy you've just been noisily dreaming about, you can't really do much to help yourself. So when I see that he's leaning in closer, stretching an arm out and placing it on the locker to avoid my escape while pressing himself against me, I don't move. I hardly even breathe. All I can focus on is the fact that his face is coming closer and closer to mine. Closer, closer, our lips are barely a centimetre apart.

I just can't pull myself away from those eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Gerards POV

He's one little fucked up shit I'll tell you.

I get into class today (he's lucky I even showed up) to find that the little fucker is ready and waiting for me to do a repeat of yesterday. I mean when I had to get past his seat and I 'accidentally' rubbed against him. Well, today he's pushed his seat out further, meaning that I really have no choice but to practically grind against him.

Well, I soon figured out a way to tease him.

I wasn't going to please him so easily, so instead, I treated him to the sight of my bent over backside.

The look on those bastards faces when I said "Morning ladies" was priceless.

Anyway, I get into my seat and give ol' Frankie boy a "Morning princess" and he replies pretty well, although it's obvious he had to stop himself adding something extra on.

After about 20 minutes of dozing, I suddenly become aware of some-one going "Gerard…uh, no Gerard, don't, come here. Aaaaahh! Gerard, Gerard, fuck, Gerard!!"

I open my eyes; naturally.

And what a sight to see! Frank was practically falling out his seat from jiggling about so much. He's soundo, you can tell, but he's very obviously wide awake in his dream. Then that's it, poof, dream over, he's wide awake and staring at every-body.

Then he looks at me, and I can't help but simply stare at him. It was – after all – completely unexpected.

Then he races out of the class, his face red with embarrassment.

Throwing all dignity aside I decide it's best to follow him.

It's quite obvious where he is, you could hear his cursing from the other side of the school.

He's so lost in thought that he doesn't notice me pressing up from behind. He only realises I'm there when I tell him that he obviously knows my name very well. The poor guy squealed like a little girl.

Of course, he wanted to know what he'd been saying, but it was pretty obvious what he'd been saying, he was just hoping I could tell him otherwise. Sadly, I couldn't.

Then, oh-so-subtly, he looks down. I look down too, to find he's staring straight at my groin.

Enthusiastic little shit, isn't he?

I decide it's best to just give him what he so clearly wants. He was obviously hoping I would. But then, you just would not _believe_ what happened next.


	8. Chapter 8

Franks POV

"Frank!? What on Earth are you _doing?_"

Oooh, not again. Please don't let this be a dream. Please, please, please.

But no, it isn't. My eyes are already open, Gerard is there, right in front of me. I'm at school, in front of my locker, standing on the linoleum floor.

Almost kissing Gerard. _Almost_.

"Frank!"

Gerard pulls back casually, not in the least surprised. Not even being caught millimetres from kissing me can bother him.

I turn my neck to the left, to see…to see…  
'_Oh no…_'  
Lauren.

She stares at me, wide-eyed. "F-Frank?" Her voice is shaky, wobbling, alert and upset.

"Uh…Lauren, I-, I was just, uh…" I can't think of any-thing to say. How could I explain it? '_I was just about to make out with a dude I don't even know that well?_' Nah. That would never cut it.

"I just needed to tell him some-thing _personal_." Gerard states. "I had to lean in because I didn't want there to be _any_ chance of any one else hearing it."

'_Thank Fuck…'_

Lauren pauses momentarily for thought, chewing on her lip. Then she blushes insanely. "Oh, right. Um, I'm sorry for thinking…uh..."

I stare at her.

Did she-did she just flutter her eyelashes at Gerard?

She did! She's damn well pouting at him!

I glare at her as she flicks her hair back over her shoulder and gives him a girly giggle. She smiles, showing her teeth.

"Anyway, I gotta get going back to class. Just needed to pop to the library for a second." She motioned to a pile of print-outs she was carrying, as if justifying herself.

"Uh…sure, I'll um, see you later." I wave. As soon as she leaves I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Girlfriend, I assume?" Gerard looks back at me after carefully watching Lauren dance away down the halls.

"Yeah. Lauren." I mutter. I don't really want to think about her right now.

I'm still stinging with embarrassment at being caught. I roll my head around, not knowing where to look. "Uh…we better get back to class." I dip my head and avoid his gaze as I try to slip past him.

As I move away he brings his arm down and lets it fall by his side. He shifts his weight to the other leg and calls after me: "No point. The bells about to go anyway."

I turn my head to object, but my words are drowned out by the clanging of the bell for the next class.

Almost instantly, the halls fill up with students laughing and jostling around or walking along with their heads bowed while they try to get across the hall without becoming victim to a dead arm.

The space between us fills with students, making it seem like an endless void. Just as suddenly as they'd appeared, the students went, banging class doors closed behind them as silence filled the empty space.

"Shall we?" He waved his arm in a gentlemanly gesture down the hall, indicating that we were in the next class together.

"Uh…yeah. What do we have?"

He smirks, arching an eyebrow at me.

"Sex Ed." He grins.


	9. Chapter 9

Franks POV

"Good afternoon class." The Sex Ed teacher chirruped.

I shifted uncomfortably; Sex Ed teachers shouldn't be so happy.

Especially not when there's an over inflated image of the male anatomy on the screen.

I looked over at Gerard again. Ever since he'd told me what lesson we had next back in the hallway, he hadn't stopped grinning. _'Is he that immature?'_ I'd wondered. Surely he's grown up enough to not laugh at the idea of Sex Ed?

As I looked at him I realised that there were some-thing odd about him. He didn't seem to be laughing at the fact that we were in Sex Ed, more like some-thing else. Some-thing he wasn't willing to explain to me yet.

"Now then, who knows what this is called?" The teacher points at the blown up image and looks at us expectantly through her big glasses as if we would all be fighting to answer the question.

No-one moved.

In a desperate attempt to get an answer, she began to prompt us by saying "It's called…?"

A hand shot up. Before the teacher even pointed them out, they said "It's called Frank, miss!"  
_'Ugh'_. My face burned with shame. I dipped my head as the class erupted into laughter. Beside me, Gerard stayed as still and silent as ever. The laughter started to die away and the teacher blushed and waved her hands around in an attempt to calm the class.

I was so busy cringing into my folded arms that I didn't notice Gerard turning in his seat and looking straight at the guy who said it.

"I think you'll find that it's called a dick…" he drawled. The class held their breath in anticipation, wondering what he was going to say next. "…just like you." he finished simply.

There was a second while the class interpreted what he said. In this single second, I tried my hardest to hold it back, but I couldn't. I burst out laughing with a choked snort, trying desperately to smother my giggles with my shirt sleeve. I could just _feel_ the resentment radiating from the guy that had picked on me. The class took encouragement from my outburst and began to laugh along with me. My laughing had turned to strangled gasps as the tension in the air bubbled down to a simmer. Gerard turns back to the front of the class, smiling contentedly. I look over at him again, and he looks up at me. I can't help but smile at him. He smiles back, not in a smirk or a grin, but a real smile.

For a second, it felt like we were mentally so close we were touching. It seemed as if the metre or so gap between us was so much closer.

Then he looked away and it was gone.

With that connection broken my consciousness suddenly felt like a mechanical tape measure, with a single click it was sent whipping back towards me and hit me with a snap. I continued looking at him, watching him bury his face into his hand as he stared blankly at the front of the class.

I was going to say some-thing, but I didn't know what. I just knew that I had to blurt some-thing out.

"Gerard…"

He turns and looks at me. His cool gaze rests on my face, watching me expectantly.

"I……


	10. Chapter 10

Franks POV

"I…"  
He continues to look at me.  
"I…I…" I'm struggling so much, I just can't get the words out. I'm not even entirely sure of what I'm going to say.  
"I-"

The door slams open.  
"Hey every-one!" a guy trills. He's carrying a wad of leaflets in one of his hands and the other he waves in the air.

"Party at my house tonight, every-ones invited! Feel free to turn up when you like, and bring a drink or two!" He starts to hand out the leaflets, all the information has been printed out in bold colours that crash and collide on the piece of paper. He slaps one down in front of me and another in front of Gerard before making his way round the class, slapping one down at each persons place. The teacher nervously raises a hand and tries to object, but her voice is drowned out by the whoops and hoots from the students as they receive the leaflet and read that his parents are out and that there weren't going to be _any _rules. When he finishes his classroom trek he looks up at the teacher and jokingly asks if she would like to come. She opens her mouth to say some-thing, but then the guy notices the huge picture on the board. "Gnarly!" he laughs, making a rocker sign at no-one in particular. The class laughs along.

Who-ever this guy is, he must be popular.

I turn in my seat and face the front of the class again. I scowl at my desk and think sourly: '_What's so special about him? Why is every-one laughing with him not at him_?'. I scowl for a second more until I feel a poke in my leg. I look up to see Gerards face looking at me, eyes shining with hopefulness.  
"You going?" he asks, his voice pitching in a way I never knew it could. His eyes watch me with an unmasked anticipation.

"I'm not sure…" I murmur. His face falls.

I can't help but feel a twinge of pleasure as I see that he's so obviously upset that I'm not going. "Well…maybe…" I breathe. His face lights up again.

"What if I take you there?"  
"How?"  
He snorts. "By car of course!"

"You drive?"

"Naw, I drive horse and carriage. What else?"

I can't help but giggle at that answer. Gerards sudden personality change has knocked me off guard. I'm trying to understand what he wants to me to do.

"Anyway…" the serious look returns to his face. "You were going to tell me some-thing?"

I stare at him, not knowing what to say. "Um…I uh…" I trail off. We sit looking at each other for a second. "It's gone. Can't remember what I was gonna say." I shrug dismissively.

He looks at me. Some-thing flashes across his face for a second. "Airhead." He mutters playfully, grinning at me before placing his head in his arms and looking towards the front of the class with that silly grin still stretching joyously across his face.

We sat in a comfortable friendly silence for the rest of the lesson, happy in our newfound friendship. I smile as I wonder about tonights party and what it holds in store for us.


	11. Chapter 11

Franks POV

"Well, we can certainly tell which house it is." I murmur. On the quiet little street, one house was practically bouncing with loud music and lights, and a mob of badly parked cars swamped the front garden and the surrounding road.

"Hm." Gerard gives an impressed reply.

We stare at the house for a second, transfixed by how many people it seems are there. We can see them through the windows, dancing and drinking and making out.

"We'll never get to park any-where near the house. We might as well park down the road and walk, to avoid any drunks battering my car when they leave." I nod agreement, but I don't let him see the grin on my face.

Battering his car? This thing was an old wreck anyway; there were so many bumps and scratches on it that it had made my eyes go funny looking at it. He gives the wheel an affectionate pat, before pressing lightly on the accelerator and looking for a good place to park. I turn forwards in my seat again, glancing backwards to check that none of the drink had fallen over. The back seat was practically covered in six packs of beer and a few vodka bottles.

As he'd come to pick me up, I'd goggled at the amount of alcohol he was innocently carting around. He'd grinned as he saw my eyes practically bulge in surprise and gave a laugh before he'd told me that his family all enjoyed their drinks. "Apart from Mikey that is." he'd added at the end. I tilted my head.

"Mikey?"  
"Yeah." He'd replied abruptly, looking away.

"Who's Mikey?" I probed.

He seemed to hesitate before he said "My brother."

"What?" I'd said, shocked. "You never told me you had a brother!"  
Then, cool as ice, he'd grinned at me and replied with a simple "You never asked!"

"Here we go." Gerard pulled the key out of the slot and looked down at his lap. I looked up, surprised by the sudden silence. He took a deep breath as if he was getting ready to do some-thing difficult. I looked at him. He looked up at me.

There was a moments pause, the beat of the music the only thing to be heard.

"You ready?" he asked, scrutinising my reaction.

"Sure."

We got out of the car, carrying as much alcohol as we could. We somehow managed to get up to the front door without dropping any-thing. As we approached the door, I realised that it had been left slightly ajar. Probably for people like us, our hands so full with alcohol that we couldn't get the door open. I pressed against it. The heat and sound all rushed out at me at once. The only light available was from flashing disco lights and strobe light units.

I stare into the pulsating darkness in awe for a second, before I feel Gerard nudging at me from behind.  
"Come on, I can't hold these all day! It feels like my fingers are going to drop off any second!" I can't help but grin.

There's some-thing about parties that suddenly makes every-one seem like best friends. Once we'd been there for a couple of hours, we were happily sprawled out on one of the couches we'd managed to get to, chatting away to about 5 complete strangers who weren't bothered about the fact that I was one of the uncoolest guys at school. One of them even told me that he'd seen me around school a couple of times and thought I was pretty cool for having piercings and tattoos. I'd grinned like an idiot for ages afterwards.

Once Gerard had had a few drinks he completely loosened up. The mysterious emotionless guy I'd met the day before seemed to have completely disappeared and had been replaced by a jokey, cheeky guy who was more than happy to have a laugh. While we were sitting there a song came on with a ridiculously fast beat, and the room seemed to surge to the middle of the living room, what appeared to be the dance floor. The guys we were talking to gave a whoop of joy and started to move with the crowd. One of them looked back at us and said "Hey, come on guys! Come dance!"

Usually, I would never have gotten up and danced, but the drinks had obviously put Gerard in a far better mood than usual and he leapt up off the couch with a surprising burst of energy. He whirled around to face me and put out his hand, gesturing for me to come to the dance floor with him.

"Uh…no, I'm okay thanks, I'm fine, really." I stutter. The last thing I want is to get up onto the dance floor, where I felt everyone would turn and watch me make a fool of myself.

I don't really have much a chance to object because as soon as he notices that I'm shaking my head he grabs a hold of my wrist and pulls me up, grinning at me reassuringly. I turn to look at the writhing crowd and cringe. Before I know it, he's pulled me right into the heart of it and has started dancing. I shrink in horror as people turn to watch him throw himself around like a fool. It was no dance I knew, and evidently they didn't know it either. _But he didn't care!_ He continued to dance, grinning like an idiot the whole time. I begin to try and push my way back out of the crowd, but I stop as I realise the sound of people whooping and clapping.

I look up.

Yes, they're watching him.  
But they aren't jeering at him or making fun of him.

Instead they're…_cheering him on!_

I stare at him, aghast.

They're clapping and stamping their feet and waving their hands around and cheering him on. The few people who know his name start to chant it and soon enough more and more people join in.

As I stared, people began to notice me and starting to shout over the music: "Hey, isn't that Frank Iero?" "He came here with Gerard, why isn't he dancing with him?" As more and more people recognised me, the question changed to calls to me: "Hey go on Frank! Go dance with him!" "You can't come to a party and not dance!"

The crowd behind me starts to press their bodies together, pushing me in, blocking my escape route. They push me back into the circle that has formed around Gerard to allow him room to do his crazy dance.

He grabs my hands and starts to pull me around with his crazy movements. People are cheering and clapping, not jeering and making fun. I can't believe it. Even I start grinning.

As the song ends, he throws his hands in the air and claps a couple of times before he brings them down and does a finishing pose. The room erupts into applause, for both me _and_ for him.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:-**

**Reccomended song: Here (In Your Arms) - HelloGoodbye.**

**This is the song that inspired this chapter, and which this chapter is based on. I highly reccomend you listen to this while you read this chapter. It really helps.**

* * *

Franks POV

I look up as a newly released song comes on. The change in pace from break neck fast to snail pace slow makes it suddenly seem like we're on another planet. The slow beat and almost robotic voice is recognised by every-one, and they all start bopping slowly, in beat. Every-one except me and Gerard. We instead stand still, staring at each other across the small space of the living room. It feels like we are a million miles apart. The slow beat is suddenly swamped with a louder, faster beat and the robotic voice seems almost alien as at sings. The lights correspond, flashing in our eyes, dazzling us. We continue staring at each other, lost in the sudden atmosphere change. Before we know what is happening, the fast beat is replaced by a slightly slower one, still bouncing, but the alienating voice isn't joining in any-more. I feel myself blush as I look away, unable to look into his eyes any-more. He does the same, staring awkwardly into the nothingness on his left. We glance about, embarrassed and unwilling to look at each other again. Then the beat disappears into the distance as the voice almost whispers to the accompaniment of a gentle background. It's almost as if I'm trapped in that strange quietness. A beat then kicks in yet again and the crowd begins to dance more quickly, pressing into us, pushing us towards each other.

As the music slows they stop pressing into us and Gerard glances up at me, smiling sheepishly.

I give an embarrassed smile back.

As if to try and dissipate the tension around us, he begins mouthing the words, smiling, watching my face intently.

I look into his eyes, then at his lips and back up again.

He's mouthing along in perfect sync, it's as if it is actually him singing and the music is there only for us, in our own little world.

I look away, trying to hide my blushing face.

The beat builds up, pounding, the lights flashing faster and faster, sending the blood rushing to my ears. The beat is still pounding and the lights keep flashing.

We're pressed against each other, the heat and noise disorienting us, confusing us.

Then the lights stop and dim as the robotic voice comes back in, whispering to that gentle backing music.

I look up at him.

He looks down at me.

Our eyes lock and time seems to stand still, encasing us in our own little world. It's as if there's nothing else in the world, just me, Gerard and the music.

There's a silence for a second, and then he leans in, and kisses me.

I'm so shocked that I hardly respond, I just let my eyes close halfway, blinking out into the hot darkness.

Then the world seems to explode into sound and colour as the music bursts into life again and the lights whiz around the room, red, blue, yellow.

Gerards hand comes up to my neck, gently pressing me into him. We break apart for a split second to breathe, but then out lips join again.

The lights and sounds are bewildering, but I don't care. All I care is that Gerard is here, kissing me. As the beat thumps around us, I gingerly put out a hand and place it around his waist. The kiss got a little more intense as our lips opened and our tongues pushed themselves into each others mouths.

He puts his other hand on the side of my face, tenderly pulling me in.

Indescribable pleasure is rocketing throughout my entire body, the experience overwhelming. Over-come with passion, I take my other hand and put it on the back on his neck and gently push his tongue deeper into my mouth.

The pleasure rocks my body.

It wasn't sexual; this was a new kind of pleasure. Our lips break apart as Gerard opens his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. As I breathe out, he breathes in a vica versa. We look deep into each others eyes – and for a beautiful moment, we are one. Filling each others lungs and seeing the world through one anothers eyes. I could not possibly find words to describe how I felt, all I can say is that so many emotions seemed to all come alive at once and try to burst out of me in a big jumbled mess. I felt so exultant, so happy, so _right_.

The mess of emotions confuses me so much that I begin to cry. The tears well up in my eyes and spill over the edge before I can do any-thing about it. The loud music ended abruptly, fading quietly away.

Still weeping, I press my face into Gerards chest, everything in my life means nothing as I adjust myself so that I can hear his heartbeat, thumping away in his chest. I take deep shuddery breaths as he wraps his arms around me and leans his cheek on my head. I press in closer, desperate not to lose his heartbeat. He runs his fingers through my damp, matted hair. Then he kisses the top of my head and hugs me closer.

Nothing apart from us exists in the dark, quiet room as we hold each other.

I close my eyes and let my head rest against him.

I finally felt completely at peace with every-one and every-thing around me.

I let out a juddery breath and smiled.


	13. Chapter 13

Gerards POV

I can't believe this.

I can remember things even though I was pretty much drunk.

It was like I sobered up just looking at him, let alone actually kissing him.

I couldn't describe that kiss, no matter how much I tried.

Fireworks, explosions, any-thing.

I could say the Earth moved beneath our feet, time stood still and that fate had been played out, but none of them are good enough to describe it.

He took a while to react, but when he did he was wonderful.

We were getting a couple of weird looks from the people who were still sober, so we decided to leave then and there. While I was driving him home we were silent, from shock and embarrassment I suppose. I changed the gear and kept my hand there for a moment, and Frank rested his hand on mine. It was all the conversation we needed.

We didn't kiss when I dropped him off; I guess it was still the shock and all that. But he smiled at me, really nicely.

Maybe I'll hang around this place longer than I thought I would.


	14. Chapter 14

Franks POV

"Hey look, there's a change machine. Go change this, would you?" Gerard hands me a note, pointing over to the machine he's spotted.

I make my way into the arcade, examining the machines around us, seeing if any have prizes near the edge. The coins clatter out of the machine as I hold a pot to the pipe edge, trying my hardest to catch any trying to make a bid for freedom. While I'm collecting the coins I look up at Gerard standing outside the arcade, hands in his pockets and hunched against the chilly sea-breeze. His hair blows about a bit, getting in his face and blinding him. The lights flash around him, bringing him up in all shades of orange, yellow, red or blue. He squints as he protects his eyes from the wind as he looks up the walk towards the beach.

"Here we go!" I push the pot into his hands and smile as he turns around shocked.

"Nice!" he grins. "Now let's go get the jackpot of every machine in this place!"

A couple of hours and about a tenner later, we were no better off than when we started. We have a few measly coins sitting in the bottom of the pot.

"Hey look!" Gerard points over to a crane machine that has a few prizes sitting in a pile at the bottom. He makes his way over to it excitedly, motioning for me to follow.

"You know these things are rigged don't you?" I ask, leaning against it, gazing down into the pile of prizes.

"So? It's fun!" he grins, putting one of our last precious few coins into the slot. The claw jerks about for a second while he tries to manoeuvre it towards a prize. He presses the button, and cries out in dismay as the rigged claw automatically moves a few centimetres to the right before dropping, missing the prize completely.

"Damn it!" he gives the machine an angry kick. He puts another coin in and manoeuvres the claw back to the prize, but a couple of centimetres off to the left. He presses the drop button, grinning as the claw moves to the right and hovers over the prize. For a second it flexes its tongs, but then the machine moves it down a few centimetres before it drops the claw.

Gerard curses out loud and gives it an extra hard kick.

He growls, picking up the last coin in the pot and slotting it in.

"Close your eyes!" he says. "I'm going to get it this time, and I want to surprise you!". He moves the claw back over to the prize he's been trying to get, a little blue monster truck model.

I obediently close my eyes.

For a second there's silence, before I hear the claw moving again.

It drops, but I can't hear it catch a hold of anything.

"Can I open my eyes?" I ask.

"No!" He says, excitement in overdrive.

I hear the trap door open as Gerard puts his hand into the prize collection point. It snaps shut again as he pulls his hand out.

"Here, now you can open your eyes!"

I do, to find a fluffy white bear staring at me.

As my eyes focus, I see Gerard standing there, holding the bear out in front of my face, pride flushing over his cheeks.

"For me?" I ask, giggling at his cheeks, which are almost as pink as the teddys.

"Yep!" he pipes, waggling the bear in my face, gesturing to take it. I take hold of the bear, drawing it in close.

It's a tacky thing, one ear isn't sewn on properly, and the stitching over all is terrible. But to me, it's one of the most glorious things in the world, as the little bear is holding a small heart shaped cushion. Gerards gift to me.

"Thanks!" I smile, stroking the bears ear with my thumb.

He stares at the bear for second, thoughtful.

"What's up?" I'm curious to know what's on his mind.

"I just thought of an awesome name for the bear." He glances up at me, testing my reaction.

"Yeah?" I ask. "Go on, what're you thinking?"

He looks down at his feet, pinkness flushing his cheeks again. He mumbles some-thing at the ground.

"Huh?" I put my face down to his level, craning my neck to see him properly.

"…Frerard…" he mutters.

"That's an awesome name!" I smile into his eyes. "The bears called Frerard now, Frank and Gerards bear!" He giggles at that, and we walk together down to the pier, me bouncing Frerard around, pretending he's talking, Gerard giggling, watching the bear as it hops about, kissing him on the nose and eventually sitting in his jacket pocket to watch what we're doing and where we're going, the lights sparkling in his cheap plastic eyes.


	15. Chapter 15

Franks POV

"Last into the sea is a wuss!" I yell, taking off the moment my feet touch the sand.

Gerard laughs and chases after me, stumbling as he runs on the sand.

We plough into the freezing water, screeching and yelling as the cold water rushes up around our waists and splashes over our bodies. Not even being fully clothed can help keep us warm. Clamping my teeth against the icy cold, I float on my back and say "It isn't cold!", while trying to subtly rub my feet together to get the blood going again. I hear him splashing about, and then suddenly he appears above me and presses me down into the water, the coldness rushes over my face and I can feel my head pounding as the heat is sucked out.

I hit the surface, spluttering, teeth chattering.  
"You sure it's not cold?" he's grinning at me, giving me a cheeky smile as he watches me shivering.

"Okay, it's a little chilly!" I admit, grinning back at him. He turns back to the beach, struggling against the current as he heads back to the sand. Before he can react I leap at him, landing on his back, sending him falling face first into the salty water. I fall in with him, unable to keep my balance.  
We're deep enough into the sea to be able to swim, so Gerard starts waving his arms and legs. I begin to swim with him, but he takes my arms and puts them around his neck again, so that I'm holding on and floating behind him. Then he begins to swim through the freezing water, the blue inkiness blinding us from anything a few feet in front. We go like this for a while, me riding along as he swims toward the beach.

Eventually we hit a shallow part and we're forced to stand, breaking the surface and taking deep gulps of air.

To warm ourselves up a bit, we challenge each other to a race. Gerard draws a line in the sand and we stand behind it, doing all sorts of silly starting poses. He gets into the traditional racer pose and starts waggling his bum around. I copy him, laughing.

Eventually we take off, sprinting along the sand as fast as we can. Sand gets into our shoes making us stumble about.

Once we get to the pier, Gerard decides he's had enough and comically falls over, pretending to have hurt his arm. He clutches at it and pretends to be in great pain, rolling around in the sand.

He flashes me a cheeky grin and says "You couldn't rub it better for me, could you?"

I sit myself down next to him, roll his sleeve up to his elbow and start to gently rub his arm, which is actually red from sandburn.

As I rub the soreness of his arm, I realise that we've been messing around so long that the sun has completely dropped, leaving the moon hanging in the sky.

"Hey Frank," Gerards voice brings me back to Earth and I look at him.

"Yeah?" I ask.

His eyes flash with some-thing I recognise.

"Rubbing isn't working. Could you kiss it better for me?"

He pulls puppy dog eyes at me.

I smile at him, bringing his arm up to my mouth. I give it a few gentle kisses, and blow on it a couple of times to take out the burn.

He lays there in silence for a while, watching me.

"Hey Frank," he whispers.

I turn to look at his face, bathed in moonlight. A shadow passes over him as some-one walks on the pier above us.

"Yeah?" I ask again.

He looks at me in silence.

I look back at him.

"My neck hurts."

I raise my eyebrow a bit. He has that look in his eyes again.

"Could you kiss it better?" he asks, doing the puppy eyes again.

We look at each other for a moment, watching each other. Another shadow passes over him.

I then lean over him, and very, _very_ gently kiss his neck. He breathes out, his breath brushing my own neck.

I pull my head back slightly, looking up and down his profile. His eyes are shut, he's breathing deeply, relaxing in the moonlight with the sand cooling his skin. His chest rises and falls as he gives a sigh.

"Frank," he whispers, so quietly I have to strain to hear him.

"…yes?" I ask.

He lays in silence for a second.

"My heart hurts."

I look at him, lying in the sand, not batting an eyelid as another shadow passes over him as some-one saunters along the pier.

"Do you want me to kiss it better?" I whisper back.

He opens his eyes, glazed from relaxation.

"No." he says as he sits himself up on an elbow.

We look straight into each others eyes.

We both know exactly how he wants me to fix it.


	16. Chapter 16

Franks POV

For a while, all we do is look at each other, listening to the crash of the waves as they knock against the pier columns. Eventually, he raises himself up onto his bum and shuffles up to me, cuddling into my arm.

He murmurs something into the folds of my hoodie, but it's obvious he's saying it more to himself than to me, so I don't ask him to repeat it.

He looks up at me, eyes shining with so much emotion I find it hard to believe that this is the guy who wouldn't have given a fuck about me more than 3 days ago. He reaches a hand up and gently cups my chin with it, drawing me in towards his face. He plants gentle kisses all over my face and neck, I can't tell if he's trying to be a tease or if he's trying to be romantic or both, but I decide I'll take it as a tease, giving him a push so that he flops onto his back on the sand.

Lifting myself up, I put one leg between his and push the knee up so that it's pressing into him gently, and the other leg I press into the sand the other side. Gerards eyes have gone wide with anticipation.

A shadow passes over us, a group of young teenage girls giggle as they wander down the pier, oblivious. If I can read him right, it seems like Gerard is turned on by the openness of our position. He watches the girls through the old wooden boards, way up above us. As they pause for ice cream, he turns his eyes back to me, smirking slightly. Yep, it's turning him on; I can feel it on my knee. That smirk is maddening, so I smother it with my mouth. I press into him with such force that I surprise even myself, but he takes it all in his stride and gives a lustrous sigh, pulling me in, pressing me deeper into his mouth. Our tongues battle as we push them about.

Before I even realise, I'm pulling my jacket off with such desperation that I pause as I try to catch up with myself.

Gerard notices my pause and reaches up and helps me pull my jacket off, chucking it to the side with an exaggerated flick of the wrist.

I don't think, I take his wrist in my mouth and begin to nibble on it, gently, but hard enough for him to groan in pleasure.

"You're like a fucking vampire," he moans. "but take your top off and I'll show you how much of a vampire _I_ can be!" He sits up slightly, lust giving him an energy boost. He helps me peel my still wet shirt off, stopping for a second to take in my bare skin, shimmering with sweat and sea-water.  
His eyes dilate to an insane size.

He tips forward, bending my legs so that I sit cross legged on his lap.

He begins to nibble at my neck, giving it occasional sucks and licks. Without thinking, I give a huge groan of pleasure.

A teenage girl walking on the pier above us stops and looks around in surprise, trying to figure out where the strange noise is coming from.

If only to confuse her, I give another groan, louder and deeper than before, grinning as she begins to wander about, looking for the strange sound, completely unaware that where it came from is sitting right beneath her, writhing around half naked with another guy.

Wait a minute, _half naked?_

Without me even noticing, he'd pulled my jeans off and his jacket.

'_Stop getting distracted._' I think, pulling my attention away from the girl still wandering around and back to Gerard. But some-thing about that girl makes my

mind go back to her. I don't think too much of it, as Gerard does some-thing really quite amazing, and my brain can't really pay attention to the petty things like confused girls when my anatomy is demanding such attention.

Before we go any further, there's one question I just have to ask.

"Gerard?" I whisper into his ear.

"Hm?" he moans back.

"Do you…do you wear underwear?" I can't help it. I kept thinking about my dream, when he warned me of his dislike for underwear.

He turns his head to me, eyes wide in surprise.

"Well…" he starts, trying to think of how to answer me, but then passion takes over and he gives me that grin again. "…why don't you find out?".

He couldn't have answered better.

I slowly pull the waistband of his jeans down, exposing more and more flesh.

Soon, it's pretty evident that what he said in my dream is true. Gerard lacked any underwear at that point in time.

"You first…" he whispers. I don't know what I'm most nervous about. Me being completely exposed or of seeing him completely exposed.

"You have to help me." I whisper back. I'm not sure I could do it on my own.

So he places his thumbs on the band of my boxers, and I place my fingers on it. Then, we both pull down slowly. I shiver as the sand touches my exposed member. "Now you." I say, folding my legs up, nervous.

"You have to help too." He answers, already holding onto his jeans. I lean over and take a hold of the zip, undoing it and pulling open the button, then together, we slide down his jeans.

Sitting naked together, we just can't hold ourselves back. We begin to make out again, our hands exploring the newly revealed areas. Gerard is far more confident about this, he understands that I've never done it before, so he guides my hands to where he wants them.

I shiver as I naturally take a hold of him, unsure of what to do next.

I look to him for help, and through his heavy breathing he mutters "Just do whatever comes naturally."

I glance down.  
We're sitting pretty awkwardly, me practically straddling him. I wish we could have some sort of cover, it's making me really nervous being out in the open like this, but the risk of being seen only seems to make him more excited as he glances up at an old couple slowly hobbling along the pier.

I still haven't done any-thing and it's pretty obvious he's getting kind of impatient, so I just close my eyes and do whatever seems to feel good. Eventually I build up a bit of a rhythm as I move my hand up and down, not really knowing what else to do.

I think he understands that I don't want to go all the way yet, so he doesn't make any kind of move to put me into that position. Instead he's just letting me get used to being with a guy, some-thing I never thought I'd do.  
After a while, he says "If you're so nervous, I can do it."

I nod my head, watching him. Suddenly he sits himself up, knocking me onto my back. I give a grunt of pain and surprise and open my eyes as he presses his weight into me. I feel a bit more comfortable that way, less exposed.

He slowly trails his fingers down to my belly button before he takes a hold of my ever hardening unit. Then he begins to slowly massage it, teasing me, making me lift my hips as he builds up a rhythm. I start to moan quietly, conscious of the people on the pier. He begins to pump faster though, and I start to squeal like a girl. He covers my mouth with his, attacking my needy tongue with his as he continues with his motions. We groan into each others mouth, losing awareness of anybody who might see.

I'm losing control over myself, I feel the rush of pleasure as I start to whimper into his mouth, desperate to let him know what's about to happen. He understands me and begins to speed up a bit.

I break my lips away, moaning. I stutter "Gerard, I'm gonna-I-I'm gonna..agh..!"

Too late, I can't hold myself back anymore and let out an almighty moan as I lose myself into his hand. He stops almost immediately, pressing his head onto mine, breathing hard and fast.

I sigh as my hormone levels drop again, bringing me back to Earth.

"I know it wasn't much, but was it okay for your first experience?" he asks, reaching out for our clothes.

"Yeah…" I reply, still breathless. He couldn't understand how good he'd made me feel, not pressuring me into any-thing I wasn't comfortable with and at the same time showing me what was good.

"Want to go up on the pier and check out everyone who was around?" he grins at me, dressing himself.

"Sure!" I grin back, dressing myself too.

We get up and make our way up to the top of the pier, looking as normal as possible.

We head towards an ice cream stall, but I spot a pair of pier binoculars and run over to them. Whoever used them last had left them before the timer had run out. I freeze as I realise that they had been left pointing at one of the struts to the pier.

_Right where Gerard and I had been!  
_"Excuse me, I wasn't finished using those." some-one says, tapping me on the shoulder. I spin round to find myself face to face with the girl that I had been so transfixed with as I groaned under the pier. My blood freezes as I realise why I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"Lauren!" I gasp.


	17. Chapter 17

Mixed POV

_FRANK_  
**GERARD**

"_Lauren!" I gasp. She's so furious, her face has gone entirely red and she's balling her hands into fists._

"_You…you…you bastard!" she screams. "I saw every-thing! Every-thing!"_

_I've never seen this side of her, usually she's so well-spoken, so sweet, so gentle._

"_You fucking bastard!" she screams again._

**Frank is backing away from her slowly, but a bench by the edge of the pier stops his escape and he falls backwards onto it with a flump. He scrabbles desperately at the back of it as she moves ever closer.**

"**You **_**cheated**_** on me, with **_**him!**_**" she thrusts a pointing finger angrily in my direction. "**_**Him!**_** A **_**guy!**_**" She points again. "Am I not not good enough, not great enough for you? Am I so bad that you have to go and…and…**_**fuck**_** a **_**boy **_**on the beach??"**

"_Lauren-" I stutter.  
"NO! I don't want to hear any of it! You're a lying, deceitful, horrible bastard! How dare you do this to me?"_

_I raise my hands in surrender, not knowing what else I can do. She tries to punch me, put I lift myself onto the back of the bench so she misses._

**He lifts himself onto the back of the bench, teetering over the edge. If he leans back too far he'll topple backwards and fall off the pier, the fall would break his neck at least.**

**Lauren takes another angry step closer. She's quaking with fury.**

"**You never loved me did you? All the times I said it and truly meant it, you lied! You were with him even then weren't you?"**

"**No-!" Frank tries to explain that he's only known me three days, but she cuts him off.**

"**I don't care, you're a heartless bastard, you're cruel and a liar!"**

"**Frank!" I call, he's leaning back, further and further.**

"**Frank!" I call again. He's not paying attention.**

"_Frank!" I don't respond, Lauren is almost exploding with anger, her face flushed and burning._

"**Frank!" I call again. He's still leaning back.**

"_You…BASTARD!" She screams. She tears at me, rushing at the bench. I have nowhere to run to._

"**FRANK!" I scream again, stepping forward. But I'm too late, she leaps up onto the bench, ready to knock him over.**

_She flies at me, her foot on the bench. I can't think if any-thing else to do, she's coming right at me and I don't know how to stop her. In a final act of self defence I throw myself to the right – and watch as she tumbles head-first off the pier, plummeting down to the rocks below, screaming the entire way._


	18. Chapter 18

Franks POV

"Ashes to ashes…dust to dust. May her body rest in peace, and her spirit live in everlasting love, within us. Amen."

The serviceman closed his eyes and tipped his head forward as we said Amen. We stood by her graveside, saying our goodbyes and thinking of the things we had said and done to her recently.

I really hadn't wanted to come here. I really didn't want to be standing by her graveside, her family surrounding the coffin and weeping as they said goodbyes.

I kept my head bowed.

Bitter relatives glared in my direction. My parents stood beside me, protective, refusing to allow Laurens family to get to me.

They held their heads up high, respectively defiant. We were ushered back into the church where we were to sing a final hymn. I didn't sing though. I was Atheist. As much as I wished that her spirit was okay and all that, I didn't believe that she was going to Heaven or that God would take her in, so I didn't sing, despite the fact that I was being constantly nudged in the back by Laurens relatives who believed I was disrespecting her.

I didn't dare scowl at them, as I understood that this was a very gentle topic, but I still didn't like them trying to make me sing for some-thing I didn't believe in.

Once we were finished and allowed to leave the church, I gave a sigh of relief and allowed myself to be smartly marched away by mum and dad.

As we passed other people, they turned away from us, or gave a cluck of anger.

One person however, timidly made her way over to me. It was Laurens grandmother, Eleanor. I'd always liked her. In the times I went to Laurens house, her grandmother would always make me endless cups of tea and make remarks about my slim figure and demand that I stay for tea so that she could give me a good, healthy lasagne and give me a talk about how its bad enough women thought they had to be size zero, let alone men.

She sidled up to me, wary of my parents.  
"May I please talk to Frank for just a moment? There's some-thing I need to ask him, to help heal my wounds." She whispered, afraid that my parents would turn away in a whirl of disgust and take me away from her.

My parents look at each other for second before nodding and letting go of the iron grip they have on my shirt.

"Thank-you." she nods, tipping her head politely.

She takes me to a corner of the church before she bends her knees as far as they will go so that she is level with me.

"Frankie," she begins. "was there any-thing…strange about Lauren before she…" she struggled to find a word. "before she tripped?"

"Well…" I try to think of a way to answer her. "she was…angry, as you'd expect." All she knew was that Lauren and I had had an argument, but I hadn't told any-one what the argument was _about_.

"Yes, I'd expect her to be angry. But I mean, before you argued, was she…off?"

"Off?" I rack my brains. "…no, I don't think so. Why?" I ask suspiciously.

Eleanor let out a tired sigh, as if shielding herself for what was going to come next.

"Frankie…" she began. The tears were welling in her eyes.

I look at her in silence.

"Frankie…we believe that dear Laurens death wasn't accidental…"

"What?" I ask, gobsmacked.

"Oh Frankie, Lauren left a note on her bed before she left for the pier. Frankie, we think it might have been suicide."


	19. Chapter 19

Franks POV

"Frankie? Do you know any-thing about this?" she looks into my eyes, sadness awash over her face.

"I…no…what did it say?" I ask back, stuttering as her words sink in.

"Well," she begins. "it said some-thing about a text, something about love…and it also said…some-thing about you." She bites her lip in anxiety, waiting for my reaction.

"Me?" I ask simply. Why would it say about me? And what text? "C-can I see it?" I have to, whether she lets me or not. Surprisingly, she nods, and produces the note from her back pocket. She must have expected me to want to see it.

I feebly take it from her outstretched hands and examine it.

Scrawled in Laurens simple writing are 4 lines, written in a fluorescent purple gel pen. They say simply:

**Found from a text on his phone that Frank is going to the pier with that boy. I know some-thing is wrong, I want to tell him it's over. He never loved me, I know it. I need to say my goodbyes, I needed his love.**

W-what? How did Lauren get a hold of my phone and read the text that Gerard had sent me to invite me to the pier?

It's an initial reaction that I don't think about. I turn away and call "Mum! Come here!". By the time she gets to me I've regretted it.

"What's wrong?" she cries, stooping down to my level. She glares at Eleanor and puts her arms around me protectively. I shrug her away. Unfortunately, she spies the note and takes it from my hands, reading it too quickly for me think about what she's doing.

Her face goes pale.

"A…a text?" she looks at me. I can't do any-thing but shrug.

"I don't know how she'd have gotten my phone, if I don't take it with me I leave it in my room!" I look around, hoping for answers. Unfortunately for me, I get one.

"So…that's what she was looking at…" mum whispers, more to herself than any-one else.

"Huh?" Both me and Eleanor are confused.

"I let Lauren into your room that day you went to the pier with your friend, she said she'd left some-thing in your room and she wanted to get it back, so I let her in. After she'd been up there 10 minutes I thought I'd better go help her find it, but when I went in she quickly put some-thing down on your desk and looked really awkward. She must have been looking at your phone." She directs the last part at me, looking as guilty as possible.

_So that was how she'd read the text._

_And the bit about some-thing being wrong, she must be talking about when Gerard almost kissed me at the lockers and she'd interrupted us._

"Frank?" Mum looks at me, as if expecting an answer.

"Huh?" I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't been paying attention.

"I said, is there some-thing you haven't told us? You looks as if you've just solved the entire mystery."

I gawp mindlessly. I can't tell them, I'd never be able to look them in the eye again! How can I tell them that I didn't love my girlfriend because I was gay and that she meant to kill herself peacefully and instead accidentally killed herself in a blind fury when she found out the entire truth?

I…I can't. I just can't!

"Um…I don't know. I was just…uh…I'd been wondering why my phone had moved over to my desk, and you told me, so…yeah…"

Both mum and Eleanor look at me like I'm insane.

_I have to tell Gerard. He's the only one I can talk to without getting into trouble._ I think. _Maybe he can help me figure out a way to clean all this mess up without telling every-one._

I head to the graveyard gates, trying to keep as low a profile as possible. As I reach the gates, Laurens cousin notices me leaving and yells "Frank? Where are you going?" I freeze as every-one turns to watch me with suspicious eyes.

_I know exactly how you see me._ I think bitterly. _You think I killed her and that now I'm trying to escape the funeral to save face._ I bite my teeth together to avoid shouting at them, and walk on.  
"Frank!" Laurens mum calls. "Get back here, can't you even have the decency to stay at your owns girlfriends funeral?" she says the word _girlfriend _so maliciously it's practically as if she's said the very words 'the girl you treated so badly and then killed'.

I can't take it any more.

I run.

I run like Hell.

Mum and dad call after me but I keep running, without a single clue where I'm going. I run up the street and cross without looking. There's a squeal of brakes as a car halts and blasts its horn.

I keep running, regardless.

I can't go home, mum and dad will confront me the moment they get in. I can't go to Gerards, he's out.

There's only one place I can feel solace at this time.

I have to go to the pier.  
I have to find where she is.

I have to speak to Lauren, alive or dead.


	20. Chapter 20

Franks POV

"Lauren!" I sob, slipping over the rocks as I make my way over to the flat rock, where I consider her true grave. My feet slide over the seaweed and general slime. If I'm not careful, I could very well join her in her watery grave.

"Lauren!" I cry again as I reach the rock to the left of where she landed.

I steel myself to leap across, to stand where she died, but I can't. Instead I sink into a trembling heap where I am, crying.  
I look up to the pier and my mind tricks me into seeing her falling, falling, screaming as the rocks come closer and closer. There's some bloody tourist up there, admiring the view, unaware to what happened right where he stands.

"I'm sorry!" I cry. "I should have caught you, I never even tried! I just watched as you fell past me!" I'm crying so much that I want to be sick, but I suppress the gag reflex, adamant that I'm going to say what I need to say.

For some reason it feels comforting to be here, talking to air instead of a grave. Yes, that was where her body was, but it wasn't where I felt _she _was. I suppose, where her _spirit_ was. Regardless of my Atheism, I still feel that there's _some-thing _that stays behind in a persons death, and it never leaves the place it died in.

That was why I felt I needed to be here. This was where _Lauren_ was.

I regard the flat rock through my tear-flooded eyes. They've done a pretty good job of clearing up – the police I mean. There's absolutely no trace of what happened. Not even any blood. As I look at it, I notice some-thing sparkling, caught on the edge of a jutting piece of rock. Carefully, I reach out and pick it up.

Oh God…

Laurens bangle.

Holding a part of her makes me start to cry all over again.

Lauren wore that bangle every single day, only ever took it off for swimming, washing or sleeping. It was so important to her.

Once I finish my crying fit I take a closer look. A few of the diamantes are missing from constant use, but over all she's taken pretty good care of it. The buckle is still shiny, the grid between the diamantes has been recently chemically washed. Good God, this bangle is the very _essence_ of Lauren herself.

I clutch it to my chest, subconsciously pressing it to my heart.

Some-one clears their throat behind me.

I glance back, not paying much attention.

Ugh, that tourist that was on the pier.

"Bugger off." I mutter, turning away again.

"You sure you want me to? You don't look so good." they reply.

I turn back to them, ready to give them a mouthful, to realise that, to my amazement, the person standing there in the bright red jumper and blue shorts is _Gerard!_

"…Gerard??" I squeak.

He shifts his weight awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. "Uh…I didn't want any-body to recognise me from the other day." he says, motioning to his bizarre outfit. "You wouldn't believe how many people are going to the pier just to look down at the rocks. They're treating this entire thing like it was a bloody suicide attempt or some-thing."

At this remark I burst into tears again. Gerard hesitates, surprised, but only for a second before he wraps me in his arms and pulls me into him, whispering any-thing soothing he can think of into my ear as he begins to rock me in a soothing rhythm.

"It-it, they…the note and my phone a-a-and Lauren…'cos of me a-and Eleanor thinks 'cos of your text and-I ran and-" I'm stuttering out of control, unable to make any sense as my crying turns into hiccuppy gasps, making me panic as my body fights to bring in more oxygen. All I want to do is run, but Gerard puts a hand over my eyes and pulls my chin round so that I'm looking into the folds of his jumper. Usually being forced into darkness would make me go mad with terror, but I know that as this is Gerard, it's in a sense, a safe darkness. He shifts his hand so that I'm forced to close my eyes as he presses his other hand onto my right ear, pressing my left ear into his jacket.

This strange position means that I'm surrounded by a safe darkness and that I can't hear any-thing other than my own sobbing. The heat of his hands and his body surrounds me, and then I see what he's done.

There is nothing more calming to the human soul than the instinctive feel of the mothers womb, curled in the quiet darkness of warm safety with only the mothers heartbeat to keep you company. Gerard had in a sense put me back in that position. He had covered my eyes so that it was dark, covered my ear so that it was quiet and pressed my other ear into his chest so that I could hear his own heartbeat.

Although I'm too big to be covered entirely, I have instinctively curled myself into the foetal position.

Lying on those rocks, surrounded by nothing but Gerard, my body caves into the most basic of reactions, sleep.

I fall into a deep sleep, my tears having stopped and my brain slowed.

Gerard does nothing but continue to sit there like this while I clutch onto him. He doesn't know how many hours we're going to be here like this, but he doesn't worry about that. All that matters to him is that here I find peace like never before.

In my dream Lauren walks up to me, takes my hands in hers and tells me she's sorry for getting angry. She tells me she can see that she was wrong to judge me for falling for Gerard and she tells me that yes, she did love me but she is not angry at me for not loving her back. In my dream I kiss her on the cheek and say "Thank-you for forgiving me Lauren. But there is one thing I have to correct you on."

"Yes?" she asks, tilting her head in the way that I love so much.

"Lauren, I always thought I loved you simply because I was told to. I thought love was just some-thing that came along once you waited long enough. But Lauren, I've found that that's not the truth. I _did _ love you. I just didn't know it."

She blinks at me, thinking about what I've said.

Then she smiles and nods. "Frank, I'm sorry for leaving you like that." She whispers.

"It's okay." I whisper back.

Then I fade to black.


	21. Chapter 21

Franks POV

Gerards POV

My left leg has fallen asleep. It's tingling because I haven't moved it in ages.

It must be gone midnight by now.

I gave my leg a tentative little shuffle, but I cringe as the pins and needles rocket through it.

Owch. Best not do that again.

Frank twitches in his sleep, snuffling slightly as he moves into a more comfortable position.

"Alright for some!" I laugh to myself, keeping a gentle cover over his ears and eyes. Through my own tired eyes I watch the waves lap against the rocks. The water has already covered the flat rock. I hope that the tide doesn't come on any more or it's going to cover the rock we sit on too. If that happens, then we're pretty much completely stranded.

I do a quick calculation on my head. Frank got here around 5pm, he fell asleep around 5:30. If it's past midnight then that means he's been asleep for about…6 and a half hours.

Damn.

You'd have thought that it would be easy to just sit there, but fuck does it torture you. Almost every part of me must have fallen asleep by now, apart from my brain of course. I won't let myself fall asleep. If I do then my hands will come away from Franks ears and eyes and if that happens he'll wake up. Then he won't have a chance to wake me up, 'cos I'll be dead to the world.

I cringe. Not a good saying to use.

"C'mon Frank," I mutter. "wake up." I can't help it, almost seven hours of just sitting there in the cold without moving was putting me in a bad mood. I look down at him.

"Wake up, damnit."

As if on cue, I feel his eyes open as his eyelashes brush against my fingers.

He forgets where he is and pulls back suddenly.

He blinks at me, sitting face to face with me on a rock on the beach.

"Where-?" he begins, but then every-thing comes rushing back to him. He drops his chin as he remembers, more precisely, where we are.

"How long was I out?" he looks up at me, hoping I'll say some-thing like half an hour.

"Seven hours." I tell him, trying my hardest to hide the slight agitation in my voice. After all, it isn't his fault when he wakes up.

His cheeks go a violent shade of red as he realises that for seven hours I have been sitting here in the same position while he sleeps.

"Don't worry about it." I smile at him, my eyes heavy with tiredness.

"Haven't you slept?" he asks, his eyes widening in wonder.

"Not a wink!" I chortle. This makes him blush even more. "Tell you what though, I wouldn't mind getting to bed now!" I grin, expecting him to laugh. Instead he looks away.

"I can't go home…" he mutters.

"Why not?" I ask, intrigued,

"I don't want to say…but I can't go home. Not now anyway."  
"Ah." Some-thing must have happened at the funeral. "Want to sleep at my place then?"

He looks up at me, surprised. "Your parents wouldn't mind?" he asks.

"Parents?" I guffaw with laughter, much to his surprise. "Like they'd give a fuck! I don't think they're home anyway. Come on, come bunk with me, I don't care."

He can't hide the pleasure on his face. He grins idiotically. Is it really that amazing to sleep over at some-ones?

He catches the confused look on my face and replies that he's just really happy to get away from his parents. "Also," he adds "this will be the first time I go to yours!"

"Ooh yeah!" I smile.

We make our way over the rocks and back to my place.

We walk in to a dark quiet front room.

"Mikey must be in bed." I whisper.

"Your brother?" he whispers back.

"Yeah." I reply simply. I get a bit awkward when I talk about my Mikey. He's the only one I've told that I'm gay. And he's a bit weird about it. But oh well. If he's in bed it won't matter right now.

We climb into my bed together, but only after I've made sure that Frank doesn't mind.

"Not really." He answers, but his eyes widen as I start to undress.

"Don't worry, I'll sleep in boxers. I'm not going to try and rape you!" I giggle.

He relaxes slightly and strips down to his boxers also. We leave the clothes strewn on the floor, too tired to bother putting them neatly.

Then we cuddle down in the bed and lay next to each other. As I start to drop off, I feel his arms wrap around me.

"Night Gee." He whispers.

"Night Frank." I say, too sleepy to cuddle him back.

Surprisingly, he falls asleep faster than I do.

How the fuck he managed that is beyond me.


	22. Chapter 22

Franks POV

"What the FUCK!?"

I jolt forward. My first reaction is to cover my privates for fear that mum has seen the effects of an _interesting_ dream – but as I go to cover myself I feel cloth over my privates, and the skin of someone against my fingers.

I blink my eyes open.

Crap, I hate mornings.

The first thing I see is the smooth skin and bony lumps of someones spine pressing against their arched back.

The wallpaper around me is unfamiliar, the one single window sends a beam of light onto the floor.

"Ungh…Mikey?" The person before me lifts their head up and squints at the door, where a brown haired boy is looking at the clothes strewn across the floor and the two apparently naked bodies pressed together in the bed.

Ah.

Last night.

God, it must look like something happened.

"Mikey!" Gerard sits up, letting the bedclothes fall away.

"Gah!" the boy covers his eyes and turns away from the bed, disgust on his face.

"It's okay Mikey! Nothing happened! We're in our boxers!" Gerard cries, trying to right the boys state of mind.

So, this is Mikey Way, Gerards brother. He looks pretty geeky, what with the mousy brown hair and the black and white glasses.

"What, so all the other times you sleep naked, yet when you bring a guy home you cover up? How does that work?" Mikey glares at him, demanding answers.

Gerard leaps out of bed, forgetting about me completely as he tries to explain what happened.

They wander out of the room together, bickering quietly. As they go out the door Mikey glances over his shoulder at me, eyebrows raised questioningly. I shrug my shoulders at him as Gerard pulls him away - apparently to the kitchen, as I hear Gerard mumbling some-thing about coffee.

Coffee, that's a good idea.

I pull my clothes on in record time and follow them down into the kitchen. Gerard is stabbing at the buttons on the coffee machine. He obviously isn't a morning person.

Mikey is sat at the table, examining the newspaper. He looks up as I come in and eyes me up and down. He arches his eyebrows again, but more in an…_appreciative_ fashion that a questioning one.

After he's weighed me up he motions for me to sit down at the table opposite him. I obediently sit and await some coffee.

"So, what's the deal?" Mikey asks, directing the question at Gerard but peering at me over his coffee cup as he takes a slurp.

"Frank couldn't go back to his house last night, something personal…so I let him stay here for the night. And don't worry, _nothing happened!_" Gerard states this last bit very firmly, resisting the urge to thump his fist on the table.

The two brothers glare at each other through the steam of their coffees; it's pretty obvious that they aren't wonderfully close.

"So uh…when should I clear out?" I butt in, desperate to avoid a riot at the kitchen table. Both of them turn to look at me, staring at me in silence.

"Um…hello? Monday?" Mikey taunted. "Y'know, there _is _such a thing as 'school!'"

Of course! School! I hadn't gone to school since…well…since the last time Lauren did.

Thursday? Wow.

I come back to reality as I feel Gerard poking my shoulder.

"Hey dreamer, you gonna come to school or not?" he looks down at me. I've been daydreaming so much he's managed to get dressed, finish his coffee and eat breakfast. All without me noticing.

I go to slurp at my coffee but he stops me.  
"Don't think that would be such a good idea," he warns "that's been sitting there about half an hour. It's practically toxic soup by now."

I gaze down into my coffee, and only then do I realise the _skin _that's formed on top of it.

"Ew…" I push the coffee away, sneering in disgust.

"Don't worry. I'll just chuck it down the sink. I'm sure the water cleaners are used to toxic coffee coming from the Way household!" Gerard laughs as he pours the thick stuff down the sink and runs the water to clear it away.  
"Now then…school?" he turns to look at me.

I shrug my shoulders at him, waiting for him to walk with me.

Mikey appears out of nowhere and asks to walk with us. We shrug in approval and begin our trek to school.

Little did we know of the things that were going to happen in that damn place.


	23. Chapter 23

Franks POV

"Oi dipshit!"

_Oooh crap_

"Oi! I said 'dipshit'!"

_Don't look, don't look, ignore him!  
_"You gunna fucken' look at me or am I gunna have to make yeh?"

I gulp, trying to disguise my shaking as an irritated reaction.

_Just ignore him, don't even look at him, just-_

SMACK  
"SHIT!" I scream as a fall forwards into my locker. I whack my nose on the pile of books, tears spring into my eyes. "Aaagh! Fuck!" I turn around, facing the boy behind me.

"Awww, you gonna cry? Is the faggot gonna cry?" he towers over me menacingly. "Is mummys poor little murderer gonna start blubbing?" he cranes his neck around, I hear the gristle crack and snap. His breath pours over my skin, probably bloody poisoning it.

I twist my face away from him, trying to avoid his rancid breath.

"What, afraid I'm gunna try and kiss you? Don't worry faggot, I ain't GAY."

I throw myself to the right, only to smash straight into someones legs.

More precisely, someones _crotch_.

I stare up.

"Gee!" I cry in glee.

He's cocking his eyebrow at me, looking from his crotch to me and back again.

I stick my tongue out and press it teasingly against the material.

Aha, he's gone commando today.

"You fucking _queers!" _The big guy screeches in horror, staring at us.

We look back at him, staring at us.

"Seems like we found his weakness." Gerard mutters, looking from him to me.

He obviously can't be arsed to hide the tint of lust in his eyes.

And so, in the near empty corridor, with the big guy looking on, I stick my tongue out again, pressing it into the crotch of Gerards trousers. I flick my tongue about before slowly drawing it up in a line. I leave a trail of saliva in my wake, pressing through the material and touching his skin.

He shivers, not knowing whether or not to vocally show how much he's enjoying the public display.

I close my eyes and begin to press my tongue in a bit harder.

He's clearly enjoying it…

"You FREAKS!" the guy screams, his trainers squeaking against the shiny floor as he turns and runs for the sake of his sexual sanity.

I turn away to watch him go, but Gerard is already so far into the throes of sexual passion that he grabs the back of my head and turns me back, pressing me into him. "Frank…" he murmurs, his eyes shut.

As much as I'd love to continue pleasuring him, I've now become aware of all the students who have stopped what they're doing to stare at us.

Guys stare in horror and disgust, girls stare in terror and even fascination.

I pull back again, pulling myself up from the floor. His eyes flicker open, looking at me in lust and even a bit of disappointment.

As I look at him, I find that our eyes lock. His eyes have that _look, _and by that _look_ I mean that _'come-hither-and-fuck-me-where-I-stand'_ look.

What, you expect me to resist that?

I reach out and hook my little finger around his, pretending to hastily pull him away. I pretend I'm heading for whatever class I have next, but instead, I pull him into the janitors closet.

His eyes widen in interest, curious as to what I'm planning.

I take a deep breath, then I kneel down. He continues watching me with interest. He's obviously not used to some-one else taking control.

I let my tongue slide past my lips again and tentatively poke it into the same spot as before. Gerard shuffles slightly, struggling to get comfortable among the mops and brooms.

I swirl my tongue around. It's a shame he's not wearing his skinnies today, I can't really tell what I'm touching. At least in skinnies everything is obvious once he takes a bit of interest.

I continue swirling my tongue around, not really knowing if I'm touching any-thing good. I kind of blank out for a second, trying to think about what I can do to make things better for him, when suddenly, without any warning at all, he gives an almighty groan. I pause and look up at him. His eyes are shut, his mouth hanging open, his back arched and his hips very slightly pressed forward.

Well, at least I'm getting some-where.  
I daringly press my tongue in a little harder, still not sure as to what I'm pressing against but he seems to enjoy it, as he lets rip another groan, longer and more drawn out than the previous one.

Ah, fuck the messing about. I stand up again, pressing my lips against his. He doesn't hesitate to open his mouth and give me full access. Our tongues clash together as they fight to get past and explore the other mouth.

Gerards hands begin to wander but I take them and clamp them beside him.

I've had enough of him having to do all the work. Now it's _my_ turn.

"Oi, faggots! What the Hell are you doing in there?" some stupid boy who thinks he's hard knocks on the door, probably with an audience.

I pull my head back in a dominating, powerful way.

"Bugger off!" I roar. "We're fucking!" I grin as Gerards face shows absolute pleasure. He loves an audience, especially if they can hear everything. I kiss and nibble down his jawline and neck, encouraging him to groan as loudly as he pleases by massaging his inner thigh. He squirms about, desperate to take control again, but I don't let him. I press all my weight against him, pinning against the wall.

As I work my way along his neck, he turns his head as gives me a vicious nip on my earlobe. I let out a moan of pleasure.

"Got your sweet spot first try, huh?" his eyes glimmer as he looks at me, a devilish grin playing across his face.

"Bastard…" I giggle playfully. "You're gonna have to pay for that."

I link my fingers with his and bring my arms up as high as I can. I can't quite stretch his out full length, but that'll do.

I kiss him violently and his tongue plays with my lip ring.

That's it. I can't hold myself back any-more.

I pull my lips away from his and start to lick my way down his body. As I reach his bellybutton I twirl my tongue around in the little hole. Gerards entire body shudders with anticipation.

"Frank...Frank just do it, quite being such a fucking tease." He groans.

"I like being a tease…" I murmur, studying the hemline of his trousers.

Beings as he's gone commando yet again, I decide I might as well just pull them off slowly, revealing my prize to myself at my own pace.

I reach up and undo the button and then peel away the material, unzipping his flies as I do so. As his trousers fall away I can't help but smile.

"Hard as a rock already? I haven't even done any-thing!" I laugh.

"Then get to doing some-thing." He gives me a husky smile, awaiting my next move.

I gently trail my finger along his length, savouring the feel. Gerard moans, pushing his hips forward slightly. I bring my finger around and back down again, causing him to buck his hips involuntarily. For a moment I hesitate.

Although my own throbbing member is urging me to go ahead and do it, my brain does a kind of jump, zapping my morals into effect.

I shake my head to escape that weird feeling, pressing myself forward by gently blowing on him. He almost screams in anticipation.

"Just…fucking…do it!" he cries, wriggling about.

It must be all he can do to hold himself back.

This is what I've wanted, right? All those lustful looks, those teasing hand motions. I can't really go back now, I'd never feel right again.

What I wanted is right here in front of me, waiting for me to just take it. Right?

Right.

I lean forward and take him into my mouth.

Having never had an experience like this before, I struggle to find a good rhythm. But Gerard is patient, he doesn't get irritated or tell me what to do. He lets me get comfortable with what's happening, just like he did under the pier.

Eventually I fall into a rhythm that feels good to me, and evidently to him. He's moaning loudly, not caring about who can hear him out in the hallway. He's practically throwing himself around, digging his nails into the wall as much as he can.

Then he does dome-thing I wasn't quite expecting. He mindlessly screams my name amongst all his grunts and moans. Such a surge of lust courses through me that I suddenly feel as if I know exactly what to do, as if I've done this all before.

I allow my tongue to join in with the rhythm of my movements, some-thing that Gerard obviously appreciates, as he gives an extra loud moan. I then become aware of him trying to say some-thing between panting and moaning.

"Frank…I'm gonna- I-I-Frank…!"

Upon hearing this, I press myself in further than before.

"FUUUUUUUUCK!" he screams, forcing his hips out as he practically explodes inside my mouth.

I don't like the feel of it in my mouth, and I don't fancy swallowing it, so I subtly turn my head and spit it onto the floor.

He falls against the wall before sliding down it and onto the floor. I crawl over to him, leaning against him shoulder to shoulder.

"Frank…" he mutters, turning to me. "that was fucking amazing."

"Really?" I ask, genuinely flattered and proud.

"Yeah," he whispers, leaning his head on my shoulder. "for a new guy, you're pretty damn good!" he grins, tiredness coming over him.

I give him a tentative poke in the ribs.

"Oi, you can't go to sleep!" I tell him. "Remember, we did come to school for a reason!"

He rolls his head back to me.  
"Yeah? What we got?"

"Guess." I say, grinning.

He pauses to think.

"…sex ed?"

"Bingo." I smile.


	24. Chapter 24

Gerards POV

We enter the classroom together, sauntering in over 20 minutes late. That picture is on the board again, but now its been all labelled with bright and colourful ink.

Ugh.

The teacher stares at us, wondering whether to say anything. Eventually she decides that she doesn't want to get into an argument with us and just turns to the rest of the class, continuing the lesson.

Frank makes his way to the desk, not looking at any-one.

I look around the class.

"Dildos?" I ask.

Frank looks up, taken aback by my remark.

The teacher blushes, temporarily halting her journey over to a box. "Well…no, not really. They're um…"

"Dildos." I finish for her.

"No, no. They're not um…that. They're..." she struggles to find a word. "they're sex education…um…practical…things…" she trails off, not meeting any-ones eyes.

Frank casts a gaze across the class. On each desk there's a bright plastic "practical thing" with condoms stretched over them.

The teacher quickly takes another out of the box and places it down on the desk, spilling out some condoms from a big box labelled '250 large flavoured condoms'.

_Poor thing_, I think to myself. _She's embarrassed as Hell._

I give a dismissive shrug and head for my seat.

Frank is staring at the brightly coloured lump of plastic, his eyes wide, lips pursed.

"What you so amazed by?" I ask, elbowing him gently. "It's not like you've never seen one before." I grin as I cast my mind back to the janitors closet.

He dips his chin into his chest. "Yeah well…this is just…awkward."

"Why?" I ask, confused.

"I dunno…it just is." He looks away, but then realises what he's looking at, and so turns back again.

I let out a deep breath and sink down in my seat, trying to get comfy.

"Okay class," the teacher continues. "We all know how to put a condom on and how to take it off again. Now, can any-one tell me _why _we need them?"

Some Jimmy look-alike raises his hand.

Frank steels himself for what is probably going to come next.

"So gays can use 'em when they fuck in the janitors closet!"

Haha. Very funny. People glance over at us, giggling.

"Good. It's nice that you know that, what with all your _experience." _I drawl.

Every-body looks at me.

I wait for a reaction.

Hearing nothing more, I turn to look at him, to see that he's looking back at the practical. He's obviously heard of my spreading fame for taking down Jimmy Alwart.

I give a grunt of annoyance; I like taking guys like that down in front of every-one.

The rest of the lesson passes uneventfully, no-one bothers us any-more and nothing particularly great happens.

Next I have art. Good.

Frank tells me he has music, so I offer to go with him so I can see where the music room is.

As we walk along, he takes my hand in his. I smile down at him, only to be met with a sincere frown.

"What's up?" I ask him.

"You've got to stop sticking up for me. It's like you're nothing a but a…bodyguard or some-thing." He looks back up at me, concern in his eyes.

"Nah that ain't how it is!" I correct him. "I'm just sticking up for you 'til you figure out how to do it yourself!"

He contemplates what I've said, then gives a slow nod. He then smiles and gives my hand an appreciative squeeze.

As we approach the music room, we hear the din of instruments, and a faint singing. Frank reaches out and presses the door open, to be introduced to the sight of a band playing on the music stage, a guitarist, a drummer, a bassist and a singer. I stare at them, mildly surprised.

I turn to look at Frank to say goodbye, but he's transfixed.

I follow his gaze to see that he's staring open mouthed at the singer. As I peer at the person, I see she's a girl, dressed in black.

She's dancing about a bit as she sings, and boy can she sing!

I watch in amazement.

Frank however, seems to be in his own world. Watching that girl, staring, gobsmacked.

_Looking pretty much the same as he did on the day he saw me! _ I think furiously.


	25. Chapter 25

Franks POV

I stare.  
I gawp.

I blink in amazement.

She dances across the stage, carrying the microphone with her as she goes, throwing her arms out, moving her body with the rhythm of the music.

As she sings, I recognise the song.

Misery Business by Paramore

"_I waited eight long months  
She finally set him free  
I told him I couldn't lie, he was the only one for me  
Two weeks and we had caught on fire  
She's got it out for me, but I wear the biggest smile"_

As she sang the last line, she brought her shoulder up to her cheek and gave a dazzling smile, hand on her hip, pushing it out as she brought the top half of her body back. She looked at me for a second; before winking at me, then the music crashed into life and she turned away to keep singing.

"Seen some-thing you like?" Gerard huffed, arms folded. He gave me a cold stare.

"Uh…she…I-" I looked around for inspiration, but to no avail. I looked at the floor and muttered "she sings nice…"

He cocks his eyebrow at me, obviously not impressed by my lack of lying skills.

"Screw art, I'm coming with you." He snarls. He elbows me into the room before him, carefully watching the girl on the stage.

She's still wandering around the stage, a ball of energy and electricity.

As she reaches the end of the song she throws her arm out, dropping the microphone to the floor.

Then she stands there, letting her brain get used to the following quietness.

She takes a deep breath and turns to look at the guitarist who has walked up behind her, guitar still hanging loosely from his neck. He nuzzles his chin in the crook of her shoulder and begins to lightly kiss her collar bone, but she pulls away and gives him a look of exasperation.

As the band packs up, the girl hops off the stage and walks towards us.

"Hey!" she gushes, flashing us a smile. As she walks closer I can practically feel the adrenaline still surging through her. Her face is lit up and animated, her eyes sparkling with an inner buzz of energy.

I go to greet her, but Gerard steps in front of me and butts in. "Music lesson, where's the teacher?" he asks gruffly.

The girl spreads her hands in a bemused fashion. "Teacher? There hasn't been a music teacher in ages." She trills.

Gerard scowls. "Well then, what was the point in coming?" he's almost shouting.

The girl looks back, unfazed. "There wasn't one." She says, shrugging. "Nobody ever comes to music anymore, so the school didn't bother to provide a teacher."

She cocks her head at him, looking him up and down. "Hey, you're Gerard, right?"

Gerard nods, still scowling. "What's it to you?" he barks.

The unnamed girl gives a sort of nod, staring at him. After a second of silence, she quietly says "You sing good."

Even Gerard wasn't expecting that. "W-what? How would you know?"

She smiles. "I hear you when you drive to school." Her eyes sparkle when she realises she's knocked him off his high horse and sent him crashing to the ground.

"You hear me?" he gasps. Then he shakes his head. "Whatever, I have to go to art." He turns, but flashes me a look or warning over his shoulder as he thumps the door open with the ball of his hand and storms away.

Both of us stare at the door for a while before I brace myself to turn around. I jump as I realise she's already looking at me with a concentrated look on her face.

"Uh…" I scratch the back of my neck, wondering what to say.

She stares at me with her grey eyes, scrutinising every move I make.

In an attempt to break the silence I put my hand out and introduce myself.

"Frank Iero," I say, "but you can call me Frankie."

She stares at my hand for a moment, as if she's wondering what to do with it.

Then she takes it and gives it a gentle shake.

"You can call me…" she pauses for thought. "…Lolita."

"Lolita?" I ask, rolling the word off my tongue. "As in, the book Loli-?"

"Yeah." She cuts in. "The book by Vladimir Nabokov, published 1955."

She casts a hateful look at the floor. I guess she gets that kind of reaction from every-one.

"Well…" I dip my head conclusively, chewing my lip ring.

"Can you play?" she asks, suddenly smiling so that her teeth show.

"Hm?" I look up at her, not quite understanding her.

"Can you play?" she casts her hands around the room. "an instrument?"

She cocks her head again, a dazed smile on her face.

Jeez, it's like some-one flicks a switch. She goes from happy to Demonic and then back again in an instant.

"Yeah!" I grin, letting the pride flush over my face. "Guitar." She smiles back.

"Awesome." She mutters. "Beings as there's no lesson, you might as well have free-play on them." She thrusts her thumb at a wall-rack of guitars.

She gives a playful shrug and turns back to the stage, making her way towards the band, who had been watching us for a while.

As she goes I take the chance to properly look at her.

She's wearing a plain black vest top, the straps thick and the neck-line curving around her chest at a decent level. She also wears a skirt, one of those lacy gothic ones, except I notice it's been sprinkled with multi coloured glitter which sparkles as she walks away.

Down her legs course patchy fishnet tights, ending in chunky converse all-stars, hand-decorated with fabric pens and glitter.

As she walks she flicks her dark brown hair away from her face, bringing out an eyeliner pencil from apparently nowhere. She pauses in front of a mirror and touches it up before reaching the band.

Then they all leave the stage via a back entrance, leaving me in an empty music room with nothing but the guitars for company.


	26. Chapter 26

Franks POV

Later on, after the 'music lesson' is meant to have finished, I put down the guitar and switch off the amp. As I leave, I look back at the room.

_Maybe I'll come back sometime..._ I think to myself.

I begin to walk down the busy halls, heading to my locker. A couple of jocks watch me as I go, but don't do any-thing. They've obviously heard of Gerard. I pull open my locker, reaching in to grab my lunch.

'_Lauren??'_

I whip my head to the right, staring at the inside of my locker door.

Laurens face gazes out at me, shining in the light. I stare at the picture for a minute, taking in her ever-smiling face. For some reason, I don't feel sad like I'd thought I would. I guess that dream I had was my own form of closure.

I gently put my fingers up under the photo and pull it away from the metal door, peeling it away from the sellotape that holds it on.

I then put it down the back of my locker, under my books.

I stand for a second before deciding I'm not hungry anymore, slamming the door shut and making sure it locks.

"_Excuse me, attention…ahem Attention students!"  
_People look up at the wall speakers, listening through the crackle as the head masters voice echoes through the system.

"_I would like to inform you that there is an assembly in the main hall, right now. Please would all students attend, this is ahem an…urgent matter. Thank-you."_

For some reason, nearly everybody turns their heads to look at me, for what reason I cannot fathom. Some start chuckling, grinning, slapping each other on the back as the surge to the main hall starts up.

I duck my head and mingle with the jostling crowd, trying my best to avoid all this unwanted attention.

We file into the hall, sitting in whatever we seats we get to first. I'm shoved out of the way as I attempt to make my way to the back, so I instead just plonk myself down on the third from front row, among all the nerds and smart-asses. They blink at me through their huge glasses, staring in fascination, wondering why me, a tattooed guy with piercings was sitting with _them_. I shrug myself down into the seat and give a huff of impatience. After a quick glance around, I notice Gerard sitting on the other side of the hall, staring at the teachers at the front with a bored expression on his face.

"Now then students," the head master wanders along the front of the hall. "the reason I called you all here is because of a certain piece of graffiti."

Some boys behind me snigger and I swear I heard my name being mentioned.

"First of all, you should all know not to graffiti, period.

Secondly, I would like to bring to attention the…" he pauses awkwardly. "…_style_ of the graffiti. Things like this should not be sprayed around the school, or any-where in fact. Now, you probably all know what piece of graffiti I'm talking about." He looks in my general direction.

"If you don't know what I'm talking about, please raise your hand."

A few brave souls raise their hands, looking about awkwardly to see how many threatening glares they're getting.

I don't dare raise my hand, every-body is paying enough unwanted attention to me as it is.

The head teacher glares, at some-one I hope isn't me.

"Well," he starts off again. "The…style of the graffiti would – I suppose – be classed as…pornographic."  
I twitch. Some-thing about this just doesn't feel right.

The head teacher takes a deep breath, readying himself for whatever he's going to say next.

"The image also had two names spray painted on it, although I'm not going to say those two names out aloud, for privacy reasons. However, the image – bluntly – was of two naked people, clearly males, in some form of sexual act together."

_Oh no…_  
"Now then, I _demand _to know who painted such a vulgar thing on the school premises!" his face is flushed red, his eyes darting between…_Gerard and me! _

If it wasn't in such circumstances, I'd probably have had a go at him for singling us out. But the last thing I want right now is extra attention.

I glance over at Gerard, who seems to have a more cool expression than me, but he's obviously confused and angry too.

The head teacher looks around, waiting for someone to take the blame. When no-one raises a hand, he gives a huff of irritation.

"Fine then," he glowers. "if no-one is going to own up, then I guess I'll just have to put you all in class detentions!"

There's a symphony of groans that erupt throughout the hall. Everyone hates class detentions. As I look around, I notice a lot of heads roll towards a particular direction. I follow their gaze. It seems to fall on a large group of jocks, all glancing about and giving venomous glares at anybody brave enough to catch their eye.

Suddenly, a student leaps out of their seat and yanks the curtain open, revealing a horde of staff clustering around the said piece of graffiti, trying all sorts of chemicals to scrub it off.

"Y'mean _that _piece of graffiti, guv?" the boy stands there, grinning like an idiot.

Thousands of pairs of eyes turn to look and take in the graffiti.

The image is surprisingly well-done, and the culprit obviously spent a fair amount of time on making sure to top the humiliation peak he was intending on inflicting on Gerard and I.

The two figures are naked, climbing on each other and their tongues are shoved deep down the others throat. The one laying beneath is groping the backside of the one above, and the above is holding the obviously excited member of the one beneath.

The teachers cleaning it off turn to look at us, revealing the names.

_Gerard Way_

_Frank Iero_

They're sprayed in red, indicating which is which. I have been pointed as the one beneath.

_Oh great_  
Once they've taken in the graffiti, eyes turn towards us. Mainly me, as many have heard of Gerards attitude.

I just want to die right now.

I sink as low in my seat as possible, red burning over my face. I attempt to cover my eyes with my hands, desperate to detach myself from the real world in whatever way possible.

The headmaster clears his throat violently, making everyone look up.

"Now then!" he roars. "I DEMAND that whoever did this owns up, RIGHT NOW!"

He sends a fiery glare at us all.

A weedy little nerd in my row shoots up.

He waves arm around like a maniac  
"Please sir! Please sir! It was him!" he points over at one of the jocks, still flailing his arm around. "William Jordes!!" he squeals in excitement.

The _entire _hall turns to look at the nerd, then at William, whose face has gone just as red as mine, but through fury rather than embarrassment.

"I'm gonna get you!" he bellows, pushing his way out into the aisle and sprinting down it towards the nerd.

The nerd gives a high pitched squeal before legging it out of the hall, every-body watching. The graffiti itself appears to have been completely forgotten.

The headteacher ignores the situation as best he can, leaning on the wall. He then steps forward and says: "In other matters…" and continues to read from a piece of paper.

Apart from a few glances and whispers, I appeared to have been forgotten. Yesterdays news already.

Halfway through the assembly, I allow my eyes to go wherever they pleased. Purely by chance, I looked up at the rafters, and practically fell out of my seat.

_There was that girl!!_

The girl from the music room was sitting up in the rafters way up high, one leg swinging down as she watched us from her position.

I stared at her, my mouth open. She didn't seem to have noticed me.

"Looking at something interesting, Mr Iero?" the headteacher asked, looking at me.

I bring my head down again.

"Uh…no." I mutter, looking away. I give him a moment to get on with what he's doing.

She's still up there, but now she's grinning at me. She gives a little wave, shifting her other leg so that it hung down too. How she managed to balance up there was unbelievable.

As I stared at her, I realised some-thing.

_I was at such an angle, that if I leant back a bit, I could see up her skirt!_

My eyes widened.

Could I?  
Despite the fact that I was gay, could I allow myself to actually do that?

I look over at Gerard. He doesn't seem to have noticed her.

Or me for that matter.

Maybe I can…just one quick little peek?  
I look back up, but she's gone.

I look around, and catch her making her way to the edge of the ceiling, heading towards what appears to be a ladder that leads to the outside of the school.

I pass the assembly by thinking about her. As the headmaster allows us to leave, I get up and leave without waiting for Gee.

I head towards the music room, where I'm certain she'll be.

I make my way in, but there's no-one there.

I give a sigh and turn to go, but I jump when I see some-one in the doorway.

"Hey Frank," Lolita smiles. "nice piece of graffiti that, huh? I could see it before everyone else from where I was."  
No.

No.

I did _not _just get a feeling between my legs.


	27. Chapter 27

Franks POV

"H-hey…Lolita…" I don't know what to say.

She looks around the room, suddenly unsure where to place her eyes.

"So…" she whispers. "you're together, huh?"

I blink at her.

"Huh?"

"You and Gerard, are you two together?"

Ah.

Gerard.

"Well…" I'm not really sure what to say.

I mean, yes, we kiss and all but…there doesn't seem to be any-thing…special.

It's hard to explain.

I mean, first of all, it's not like we've talked about any of our problems.

We haven't even met each others parents.

And there's been absolutely no hint of any-thing more than lust.

So, I do some-thing that makes me feel guilty as soon as I do it.

I shrug.

And, simple as that, it feels like there's nothing between us at all.

She regards me silently, opening her mouth as if she's going to say some-thing, but then closes it again and continues to watch me.

I scuff my foot on the floor, feeling small and vulnerable as I realise I've practically admitted I'm gay to a near-enough stranger.

And not even _I'm_ sure if it's true any-more.

She tips her head very slightly to the side.

"Still coming to terms with the change then?" she asks, in as polite a manner she can muster.

"Hm?" I raise my head, not quite understanding her.

"You're obviously unsure. But I mean hey," a glint flashes in her eye. "pretty much every-one heard you in the closet, myself included." She gives a lop-sided smile.

_So much like Gerards smirk…  
_I shake my head free of the thought.

"Yeah…" I look down at the floor, blushing at the idea of her suddenly being so knowing of my personal life.

I see her step forward slightly, and the many necklaces clink and clatter round her neck as she leans down and puts her face in front of mine.

"There's nothing to be ashamed about you know." She stares up at me, her eyes seeming unrealistically large, like the eyes of china dolls. I look into them, watching as the shadow I cast over her eyes causes them to dilate.

"There's nothing wrong with liking other dudes. It's perfectly natural for you." She blinks again, in a slow, analystic manner.

I raise my head slightly to make it easier to look at her.

_It's good that her top is at a decent height, or I'd see every-thing at this angle, and then it would be obvious if she glanced down…_

I give a bit of a grunt of reply.

She twists her head.

She's got that demonic look going again…

A seductive smile curls over her lips as she juts her hip out and places her hand on it, fingers spread.

"Not so sure you're into guys any-more, huh?"

I refuse to look up at her. I'll lose control over myself if I do.

Looking away, I don't see her move towards me, and therefore am not aware of her presence until she wraps her arms over my shoulders, pushing me back against the wall. She brings a leg between mine, bending it at the knee until she's resting it on the toe of her boot, pressing her knee into a delicate and at the moment, _sensitive _part of me.

For a moment, I get a flashback of the pier, me straddling Gee as I press my knee up into his groin.

My eyes widen as I come back from the image and notice that Lolita is moving her face closer and closer.

Horror courses through my veins as I realise that I'm also moving my head towards her.

I look into her eyes, anticipation overriding any-thing else.

For a second, I tell myself that _this _is what I want, to kiss her.

I go to plant my lips onto hers, but I realise that she is brushing her cheek against mine, moving her lips towards my ear.

Her knee moves up slightly as she feels me harden.

Her lips reach my earlobe, and she parts them, touching her tongue against it.

I get another flashback, of the janitors closet, Gerard turning his head to nip my ear as we both throbbed with lust.

Guilt explodes and I turn my head away slightly, feeling completely disloyal and cruel.

"Good boy Frankie…" she whispers. "…good boy."

She brings her head back, lowering her knee and pulling her arms back down to her sides.

As if suddenly hearing something behind her, she turns her head to the side ever so slightly and slides her eyes towards the stage.

She dips her head, moving towards the door.

As my eyes adjust to the light coming from the stage, I notice the boy that tried to kiss her standing on the stage-

-And he looks ready to kill some-body.


	28. Chapter 28

Franks POV

I raise my hands in surrender.  
This guy is bigger than me, and damn well pissed off.

He tears at me, moving faster than I can register.  
Within a second he's standing in front of me, roaring his head off.

"You stay away from her! She's MINE, you hear? MINE! You are not to touch her!"  
I shrink back into the wall, cowering, hoping it will swallow me up or some-thing.

He raises a balled fist, fury emblazoned upon every part of his being.

I put my hands up to protect my face and close my eyes, waiting for it all to be over.

"Frank!?" the door groans as it is pushed violently, the weight of 2 boys making it slam into the wall.

"Mikey! Gee!" I could almost hug them with gratitude, but there's still the problem of the gut standing over me, ready to grind me into a pulp.

He stares at them for a second before turning his attention back to me, raising his fist again.

The bother of being interrupted only seems to make him angrier.

I shrink back into the wall.  
SMACK!

I tense my muscles, but then open my eyes in confusion as I don't feel any-thing.

Before me, the boy is sprawled on the floor, clutching his head as he rolls around, writhing in agony.

Gerard stands above him, fist still in the air, ready to strike again.

Mikey grabs mine and Gerards wrists and runs as fast as he can drag us.

We run down the halls, out the main door and down the street, all the way to their house, not stopping once, not saying a word.

Half an hour later, we're sprawled on the sofas, still having not said any-thing.

Mikey sits there with a coffee, glancing at us from time to time. Gerard sits there taking drags from a cigarette, and I sit there chewing my lip and thinking about what happened.

Mikey takes the TV remote and flicks the TV on to some random channel, watching it in disinterest.

"Turn it off." Gerard growls.

Mikey looks at him blankly before turning back to the TV, ignoring him completely.

"I said turn it off damnit!" Gerard bellows, leaping off his seat squaring up at his younger brother who immediately jumps up and glares at him.

"Don't shout at me!" he yells, shouting back just as loud.

"And why not? There's some-thing serious going on here and all you want to do is stare at us and watch TV!"

"Stare at you?? I'm not even permitted to look at my brother and his boyfriend anymore?"

"You weren't just looking, you were God damned staring! It's like you can't take your eyes off of Frank especially!"  
I can't help but bristle at this, but I decide things are bad enough without me sticking my oar in.

"What, you think I'm gay too? Just because you are? You think that just because I can't help but look at a guy and wonder what goes through his head, I immediately have to be gay!? What the fuck? What's that all about?" Mikeys really getting angry now, balling his hands into fists.

Gerard tenses his arms.  
"How the Hell do I know? I've seen the way you look at him, all longing and lustful. It's like you think it's wrong to be gay then go and check out my b-…Frank!"

He's not calling me his boyfriend.

He's stopping himself saying it.

"Is that all I am?" I murmur.

Gerard looks at me, furious but puzzled.

"I'm just Frank…not your boyfriend?"

They stare at me, halting their argument and any urge to thump each other.

Mikey shakes his head. "That's it, I'm getting out of here." He storms out, banging the door behind him.

"Gee…" I feel the tears spring to my eyes.

He stands there, staring at me.

"Gee…I know why you're angry. And I understand why. I'm sorry, but...I can't help it."

His eyes widen.

"What are you saying?" he tries to stop the tears coming to his eyes, but fails. He at least refuses to let them fall.

"I-I…, sorry Gee, it's just…you don't seem _real_, not like at the party. You're just…a totally different person. I…I don't think this is working…if there was ever any-thing there to work at all…"

He refuses to meet my eye.

"I'm sorry Gee…I just don't think there's any-thing there…"


	29. Chapter 29

Gerards POV

Nothing there?  
How can he say there's nothing there?

He's sitting there, waiting for me to answer.

He has a horribly pained look on his face.

…nothing there?  
Nothing at all?  
Doesn't he see?  
How can I show him who I really am?  
He fell for the person he first saw me as, Gerard, not Gee.

Gerard is the mysterious all-knowing guy, Gee is the other one, the one no-one seems to understand.

'_There's nothing there?'_

"B-but…"

But what?  
He's right.

There _is _nothing there.

Not that he can see any-way.

"Frank…" I sound a lot more confident than I feel.

I'm not entirely sure what I want to say.

I can't find the words to show him how I feel.

I bite my lip, adamant that I'm not going to cry. That's Gerard, the emotionless person that lures every-one into his trap, then clamps down and reveals Gee, full of emotions, so that the poor person tries to struggle away.

Just like Frank is.

How can I let him know how I feel?

How can I tell him?

_That's just it. I don't tell him._

_I __**show**__ him._

I let out a stifled sob, bringing my hand up to cover my mouth.

Frank continues to stare at me.

Eventually I just completely let go, and every single piece of hurt, fear and sadness comes exploding through my body, causing me to collapse on the floor, feeling sick and dizzy and still crying.

Frank leaps off the sofa and rushes to me, shouting my name over and over.

I continue sobbing, curling myself up inside myself, crying uncontrollably.

Frank wraps his arms around me and lifts me up, pressing me into his chest, shushing me and fanning my face, trying to bring me back down to Earth.

The tears continue, making my breath go uneven and desperate, causing me to panic.

"F-Frank! I'm sorry! I really am!" I sob into his shirt. "I'm sorry, please, don't end it, you really mean some-thing to me! You really do! Please don't end this Frankie," I pause, wanting my next words to be full of emotion.

"I love you."

I hear Frank give a quick intake of breath, every muscle in his body tenses and he sits rigid, staring into nothingness.

He doesn't hush into my ear or fan my face anymore, he just stares, dumbstruck.

"R…really?"

He stutters.

"Yes." I say, certain of my words.

I look up at him, and he looks down at me, the shock still evident on his face.

I brace myself, knowing that what happened was my fault.

"I'm sorry if it seems I just treated you like a fuck-toy, it's just that all the other guys I've ever been with have just wanted one fuck and then they go, but with you, you want to stay with me, you care about me, you fell for Gee, not Gerard.

I'm sorry and…thank-you."

We sit in silence, avoiding each others eyes.

He mumbles some-thing, so I look up at him.  
"Hm?"

He mumbles again.

I give him a questioning look.

I shift so that I can see him properly as he sits cross-legged on the floor, staring into the carpet.

I wait for him to repeat himself.

He tenderly takes my hands in his, emotionless, giving no clue as to what he's going to say next.

He looks up, our eyes meeting.

"Gee…"

"I love you too."

I give a gentle nod, allowing the tears to roll freely over my face, and the smile to pull at my lips as much as it wishes.

I press myself into a cuddle with him, massaging his hands with my thumbs.

"Thank-you Frank," I whisper. "I'll show you who I really am, Gee, not Gerard. With you, I won't hold back who I am in order to protect myself.

Frank, I put my heart entirely in your hands."

He smiles, crying also. He pulls me into a tighter hug and puts his lips to my ear.

"I'll look after it Gee, honest.  
We can really make this work.

I'll never let them hurt you, I promise."


	30. Chapter 30

Franks POV

Back at school, I do every-thing to avoid her. I stay away from the music room, I refuse to look up during assemblies, I even stay well away from the girls toilets, just incase she comes traipsing out as I happen to walk by.  
But I should have known better. In school there are only so many places to go, avoiding her was futile.

Especially as Lolita was looking for me.

"Frank! Wait up!"  
I turned to see her running towards me down the hall. My eyes bulged as I took in the intricate outfit she was wearing.

Round her neck there seemed to be a small belt, the excess leather left to hang down her neck, along with a red tie that was accompanied by think metal chains that held crosses, the tie protruding from a black collar with a small white print of a red rose on the left flap. The collar was connected to a black top, a diamond shape cut down to the breast, think straps that went at an angle over her shoulders. In the diamond cut shape, there was another top beneath, grey and frilly, which was also exposed at the bottom, covered in butterflies.

Around her hips was a short gothic flaring skirt, checkered red and black, with a small frilly fringe cut into the side, decorated with white Crosses and swathed with studded belts. Her legs were covered by her long boots, laces going from her calves right down to the actual boot, which had a thick, heavy sole which clumped as she ran. On her left arm she bore a long black arm warmer, reaching from the middle of her forearm to her wrist, a thin red lace snaking around it, and finalised with a think studded bracelet to match on of the belts. On her right forearm she had a red leather band with long metal spikes jutting from it. On her arm she had a metal chain holding a heart shaped locket dangling down, touching a studded black leather bracelet which then came upon a black leather bikers glove, fingerless with a rectangular hole cut into it, edged by a metal skull ring..

Overall, she looked incredibly strange and even _eery _when compared to the drabness of the school halls. As she approaches me, I see light glint off of the metal ring she has on the middle of her left ear, and the metal skull and crossbones hanging from her lobe. Her hair I also noticed was now streaked with dark blonde, which made her look - surprisingly - beautiful instead of creepy.

It's amazing what you can notice about someone when you really look.

"Frank!" she ran over to me, smiling. I cringe as I turn to look at her, but I plaster a smile on my face at the last moment.

"Hey Lolita."

She freezes.

Staring at the ground, she makes a little clucking noise before shaking her head and smiling up at me again.

"Frank, I know this is gonna sound weird, but I need you to come to my house tonight."

I flinch.

"…why?"  
"Don't ask questions!" fury flashes across her face. "I need you round my house okay?" her teeth glint as she bares them, making her look like a vicious animal.

"Uh…okay??"

"Good!" her voice is high, like a little girls. Her eyes sparkle with happiness again.

She twirls away and heads towards the music room.

She makes no attempt to tell me to follow, but I feel like I just have to go with her.

I walk behind her, scuffing my shoes so that she knows I'm following.

In the music room, there's a chair with some-thing propped on it, but whatever it is is covered with a sheet. She makes her way over to it, weaving between all the instruments left on the floor.

"This," she motions to the sheet "is for you." She lifts her head to check my reaction as she pulls the sheet back.

Upon the seat leans a guitar, white with a black neck, and in metallic letters upon the bottom left is the word 'Pansy'.

She watches me warily, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, chewing nervously on her lip.

"How come you're giving me this?" I stare at her in awe. This must have been one expensive guitar, and I wouldn't have thought she was the one to mindlessly buy things for people she barely knew.

"'Cos you're cool." She answered simply, still watching me like a hawk as she nervously chewed her nails.

"'Cos I'm cool?" I laughed. "Whatever made you think that?" I can't help but giggle at that. Me? Cool? Those two things weren't usually used in the same sentence.

She waved a hand dismissively. "'Cos you're not a fucked up idiot who goes around making other peoples lives shit." I looked up, surprised. In her eyes there burned a hatred I don't think I've ever seen anywhere else. For a second, I saw through those glassy all-seeing eyes and saw all the pain, hurt and fear that was locked up behind them. But then she turned away from me, and I felt like…_me _again.

The guitar still sat there, the lettering shining at me.

I make my way over beside Lolita and reach out for the guitar. It's completely brand new, the strings still have that metallic sheen that seems to come with untouched metal.

Throwing the strap around my neck, I pluck at the stings, trying out different chords. Every-things in tune. God, this guitar is just _perfect_ in every way!

"Wait!" Lolita hurries over to an amp, flicking the switch on and turning everything to max. She then runs back to me, trailing an amp cord behind her. As she plugs it in the amp gives a shrill squeal, making me cover my ears, yet she never even flinches.

"Okay!" she sits herself down on the floor before me, smiling broadly.

She's a little…_too _close for comfort. But oh well.

"Now you can play." She looks up at me, childish and excited.

I give a string a small strum, and the sound explodes out of the amp, practically shaking me through.

She giggles at my shocked face, calling me a sissy and saying I need to get used to loud music.

In an attempt to recover my dignity, I give the entire set of strings a violent strum, the sound rocketing throughout the hall, echoing from every wall it can. I swear I can feel my bones rattle. Lolita however, doesn't bat an eyelid.

I continue to strum randomly, sure that a teacher is going to run in screaming that the volume made the school collapse, but the only thing that happens is that the band Lolita sang with came onstage with all their equipment. I politely stopped shattering their eardrums and let my guitar hang around my neck, watching them.

"Hey!" one of the guitarists call. "You wanna play with us? You're pretty good!"

Lolita turns to me, her eyes full of hope.

"Please please pretty please?" she does puppy dog eyes at me, a deadly distraction from the gothic outfit she wears, but it works none the less.

I shrug a yes.

"Awesome!" she chirrups. She stands up, her jewellery clinking as she moves. She turns the top half of her body towards the stage as the hall lights dim and the stage lights flash on, dazzling me, making Lolitas silhouette look amazing as the angle her top half is at shows off her figure. As my eyes dilate insanely, her face comes into focus, the rest of body still blackened.

She grins at me, a seductive flash of teeth and glint in her eye.

"Let's play!" she purrs, Demonic Lolita back for her performance.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N:- Heya guys and gals.  
Srsly, what I want to say is thank-you.  
I really love getting e-mails saying 'New review!!'. I grin like a maniac when I read what people say about this story.**  
**Never be afraid to review. It's lovely to get feed-back about my work and I seriously appreciate it.**  
**Hugs for every-body!!**

**Now, on with the story!! **

* * *

Franks POV

"_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend!"_

She dances across the stage, the lights flashing and shining over her body as she sings, full of energy like the first time we saw her.

Jeez, I wish Gerard was here. I'd love for him to see me playing.

As if on cue, the door swings open and Gerard walks in, Mikey trailing behind.

They both stare in awe at the stage.

Lolita continues to dance and sing to an unseen crowd, throwing her entire heart into the song.

"_She's like so whatever  
You could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about!"_

As she sings that part of the song, she prances over to the other guitarist – the one who tried to kiss her the first time we saw her perform – and lays herself on his shoulder, rolling her head about with his jumps. She draws her hand seductively from her head to her hip, his eyes following hungrily the entire time. As the song burst into the chorus again she pulled herself away, singing with everything she had, jumping up and down.

"_Cause, She's like so whatever"_

She drapes herself against me this time_  
"And you could do so much better"_

A cheeky smile and a wink_  
"I think we should get together now"_

Pulling me closer and closer…_  
"And that's what everyone's talking about!"_

She doesn't pull away like she did to the other guitarist, she instead continues to stand by me, wiggling her hips and posing stupidly.

As she comes to another part she comes up to me again.

"_In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger"_

Wiggling her finger about_  
"Cuz I can, cuz I can do it better"_

Another cheeky smile_  
"There's no other"_

She's bringing her face closer and closer to me. I can feel Gerards eyes boring into her_  
"So when's it gonna sink in"_

Pouting her lips again_  
"She's so stupid"_

A subtle roll of the eyes towards Gerard_  
"What the hell were you thinking?!"_

"FUCK OFF!" I scream.

I stop playing and give her a violent shove.

She lets out a strangled yelp, a mix of shock of fear.

She stumbles but quickly regains her balance as everyone in the band stops their music to stare at us.

"For fucks sake Lolita!" I scream, blood rushing to my face, fueling my fury.

"You're always fucking flirting with me! What is with you! You're like some God-damn demented chick! You're always happy one moment then fucking freaky the next! You KNOW I'm with Gerard, and I'm happy with him too! It's because of you that we nearly broke up in the first place!"

"But I was onl-"

"NO!" I roar. "I don't want to hear your excuses! I'm tired of listening to you Lolita! Listen! Read my lips: I-DON'T-LIKE-YOU! Get it!?"

She stares at me in shock.

"Y-you don't…?"  
"No, I don't! I never have! You're a fucking weirdo!"  
"But Pansy-"  
I don't think about what she starts to say.  
"Leave me alone Lolita! Just fuck off!"

I turn away, heading towards Gerard and Mikey, who stand at the edge of stage, staring at me in amazement.

Pansy swings around my neck, forgotten about. I march away, the rage dissipating.

Lolita watches as I storm away, what she considers a show of tender friendship hanging from my neck, the strings still vibrating from when I was playing.

If I had bothered to watch her a second more I would have seen the lone tear escape her emotionless eyes.


	32. Chapter 32

Franks POV

The car bounces as it runs over a speed bump, making the guitar give a little thump as it slides to the floor.

I stare blindly out the window, my mind wandering to whatever pops into it.

Gerard drives in silence, focusing on the road ahead.

We'd dropped Mikey off at one of his friends houses, and now the car seemed very quiet.

I hear Gerard take a breath as if to say some-thing, but he then decides against it. Right now, silence is safer than conversation.

My mind wanders back to the music room, Lolita and my outburst.

I couldn't really describe what it was.

Yes, Lolita was flirting insanely with me, with her body language and her physical-ness, but now that I had calmed down, I had come to understand that when you're on-stage, you _can_ get carried away. It wasn't like it was just me she was doing it to, she'd done it to the other guitarist too, and earlier to the drummer.

It was just a bit of fun to her.

I suppose what made me mad was that Lolita had been the cause of Gerard and my fall-out, although unintentionally, and unknowingly – yet she was openly flirting with me.  
Okay, so as far as she knew I 'wasn't sure if I was with Gee or not', but still, if he's in the room you don't do it.

Unless she hadn't known he was there? What if she-

"Check it out." Gerard nods slightly at the sidewalk, still watching the road.

I turn my head to see some-thing I'm not sure I want to.

Lolita, walking home from school.

I notice she stoops as she walks, not paying attention to where she's going.

As I watch her, I can't help but feel sorry for her.

What happened probably wasn't her fault at all, yet I'd shouted at her, embarrassed her and worst of all, rejected her attempt to become friends.

As I look at her, sympathy forces me to look straight into her eyes, and what I see there horrifies me.

For a second as I pass her by in the car, I feel all the pain, hurt, fear, hatred and anger that sits inside her like a toxic soup, bubbling and filling up more and more, refusing to leave her in any way.

But then it's gone. We turn a corner and in that last second I see her turn into the driveway of her house.

A house I assume is no better than school for her.

"Frankie! Frankie? You up there?"  
"Yeah mum!" I call back.

"What're you doing?"  
"I'm just thinking! Why?"

"You seem all cooped up! Why don't you go out for a while huh?"

I think about it, shifting into a more comfortable position on the bed before calling down the stairs again.

"I've got nowhere I need to-"

Wait. Lolita wanted me to go to her house.

I guess I owe it to her to go and apologise for shouting at her.

"Okay!" I call back. "I know where I'm gonna go!"

I slide my feet off the bed, giving myself a second to regain my balance.

I can remember where she lives, I know the road we went down when I saw her, and I should be able to recognize her drive.

I make my way down the street, looking for the turn to her road.  
Ah, here it is.

There's her house, it's not hard to miss. It's absolutely _filthy_.

I pull my lips back in a grimace.

_If she's so messed up and she lives in a dirty house, I wonder what her family are like?_ I can't help but imagine a drunken father who beat his kids and a prostitute mother who's too drugged up to remember her own name.

_No, that's stupid. _I think and shake my head.

I walk up the drive, staring up at the house which seems to loom over me. Weaving my way through the countless weeds and pieces of broken garden furniture, I reach the front door. I don't bother to knock, I never do.

The door creaks as it swings open, groaning as the hinges struggle to move. My eyes take a second to focus, and when they do, I really, _really _wish they hadn't.


	33. Chapter 33

Franks POV

The stench of blood is overpowering, the bitter-sweet metallic smell forces its way into my nostrils and refuses to leave.

Blood stains are streaked over the walls, bloodied hand prints paw their way up the stair wall.

The light fitting in the ceiling has been torn out, the bulb shattered on the floor, the lampshade crumpled and ripped.

I gasp aloud as these details register in my mind, and most of all, the silence.

I can't hear any-thing, not even the day to day sounds of the street behind me.

It's like I've stepped through a vortex into a dark, soundless, unrealistic world.

Without my noticing, the door behind me closes, shutting in the terror that rips at my mind.

Somewhere upstairs someone opens a door, loud heavy metal music bursts out from the room, screaming some-thing that sounds like 'Regret'.

Soft footsteps pad across a carpet. In the corner of my eye some-thing moves on the wall of the upstairs. A shadow appears on the wall, moving swiftly down the corridor. I shrink back into the shadows, suddenly terrified of whoever it is.

The shadow freezes. What I assume to be the head turns slightly.

Then I hear some-thing that chills me to the bone.

I can _hear _them listening to me.

The shadow of whoever it is stands there, listening to me. It's almost as if they can hear me _breathing. _Like they can hear my heart beating.

The music dies away, making the feeling of being listened to grow.

As I wait in the darkness, I become aware of the fact that whoever is standing there is singing – quietly – but they're singing.

I lean forward to try and catch their words.

"_Can you hear me?  
Are you near me?  
Can we pretend to leave and then  
We'll meet again  
When both our cars collide?"_

I close my eyes, tossing my head to the side as images flash before me.

Lights, sounds, Gerard, Mikey, guitars, audiences.

I shake my head, blinking my eyes.

The shadow stands there, as if awaiting an answer.

When it's only greeted with my silence it gives a little "Hm." noise and moves away. A door closer to the stairs opens, the shadow disappears and the door closes.

Again I'm left in silence.

My heart is hammering in my chest, the blood pumping in my head and my breathing has gone low and wheezy.

I have a horrible urge to go up the stairs, but my terror keeps my legs rooted to the spot, refusing to even move me towards the door.

I take a few deep breaths, pondering what to do next.

_Why didn't I ask Gerard to come with me??_

I could've kicked myself, except that would have made noise.

For a moment I blank out, not thinking of any-thing. When I zone back in again, I'm halfway up the stairs.  
_'Holy shit!'_

What am I doing??  
No matter what, my legs just keep taking me up the stairs.

I try to stop, I honestly do, but my legs seem to have a mind of their own and refuse to stop until I get outside the door the shadows owner is behind.

Through the crack in the door I see shiny white tiles, so I assume this is the bathroom.

_What if she's in there getting undressed for a shower??_

I think.

_What if she's in the bath??_

It doesn't mean any-thing to me.

Some-thing doesn't feel right.

I push on the door.

As it opens, I see more and more tiles.

I see more and more blood stained tiles.

I see the bath, empty.

I see the shower, also empty.

And I see Lolitas body laying on the floor, covered in blood, her wrists sliced and even bitten.

Here I see the true Lolita.


	34. Chapter 34

Franks POV

"Lolita!?" I gasp, staring down at her in horror.

She shifts slightly, her eyes rolling.

"Lolita, what the Hell?"

Her eyes slide toward me, struggling to figure out where I am.

"Frank?"

"Lolita!!"

She coughs a little, spitting up blood. Her head lolls to the side, resting on the wall.

"Y-you don't like me. Why are you here?"

"Because you wanted me to come. So I did. I owe you an apology for shouting at you."

Her eyes flutter shut, then open again.

"You said you don't like me. I only wanted to be friends, I couldn't help being weird." Her voice breaks as tears fall from her eyes.

"Lolita, what on Earth did you do this for?" I glance at her wrists, now turned down.

"I always do it…" she whispered.

"You're a self harmer?"

"Always have been."

She seems to be regaining consciousness now.

She draws her arm warmers up to her elbow, revealing masses of cuts, bruises, bite marks and scratch lines.

"….why?"

It's such a simple question, but the answer she gives is so complicated. I watch as she shifts a bit, trying to block the self inflicted pain from hurting all too much. She takes a deep shuddery breath, and tells me her past.

"One night, about 15 years ago, my mum was on her way home from a nightclub with her friend. They were both drunk out of their heads. They decided they'd have sex, without protection.

"9 months later I was born. I'd been a total mistake. Mum had never even known she was pregnant. She told dad that I was his, there was no doubt about it, so they rushed into a marriage."

She shuddered, closing her eyes. I allowed her to lean against me as I sat down beside her.

"Back when I was 5, mum couldn't take her life anymore. Dad beat her, she relied on drugs, whatever.

"I was the one who found her hanging from the bedroom ceiling..." she whispered, her eyes glazing over as she blocked the memories from returning.

"From then on it was just me and dad. I knew he hated me, he believed that I was a problem that should never have happened. In order to punish me for being born he'd tie me to chairs or tables while he went to work all day."

She let out a squeak, refusing to properly cry, bringing her bloodied hands up to her face, wiping the tears away and replacing them with blood. I instinctively put my arms around her, pulling her into an awkward hug.

"When I was 8, I came home from school one day to find the house empty. Every-thing was silent. Dad had simply left with nothing but the clothes he was wearing. Since then, I've always come home to an empty house.

My mum and dad were both single children, and their parents had died, so I was the only one left. No-one knew dad had gone."

She trailed off, her mind travelling into memories that had been long buried. Yet she did not show any emotion whatsoever.

She sat on the floor, her legs tucked into her chin and her arms wrapped around her knees.

As she remembered her past, I wondered what life must have been like.

How many hours had she spent in that position, curled up against the wall, bleeding?

How many nights had she spent in a silent house, knowing that nobody was going to come save her, or even bother checking up on her?

It was as I was thinking about this that I realised that her only form of social interaction was school, and even then she was reclusive, quiet and withdrawn.

_No bloody wonder…_with a life like hers I'd be amazed if she'd grown into a happy chatty girl.

I rolled my head back, examining and studying my surroundings. Now that I had calmed down slightly and ensured that Lolita was safe, I was able to gaze upon the blood streaked walls and instead of panicking about what had caused them, I was able to see when they had been made.

Some blood spatters or hand prints were fresh, still dripping. Others were dried and cracked, falling away as dust onto the floor.

I imagined all the times Lolita had allowed herself to fall into a blood-lust rampage, running through the house, wiping her _life _on the walls, knowing that no matter what, it would never be seen.

I also wondered about all the memories that were swarming in this place, good or bad. Although to me a bathroom was just a bathroom (however blood stained and dirty), to Lolita it was a place of everlasting silence, solitude and fear.

She gives a juddery sigh, rubbing her wrists together, watching as the blood seeps from one wrist and into another.

"Lolita, how long have you been living on your own?"

Silence.

"Lolita…"

"….7 years? Some-thing like that."

7 years of solitude. _Good God…_

She sits there, still emotionless, seemingly unawares of the fact that she has just told such a horrible life story to someone who not only caused her to have a mental breakdown, but was also near enough a stranger.

I turn my head to really look at her.

The eyes, those glassy, uncrying eyes stare blankly at the dimly shining floor.

"Lolita…" I breathe.

There's no response, but I know exactly what I need to say.

"I'm here for you."

And just like that, after all the pain and hurt, the fear and solitude, the mental and physical destruction, all it takes is 4 words to make her break, 4 words that she has wanted to hear for such a long time. The idea that someone was reaching out to help her must have been so heavy.

She dissolves into a sobbing mass, her brain giving up, pouring out every-thing she's ever wanted to do or say in one big mess. She strikes out with her arms, screams wildly, thrashing around, then gives a whimper and hugs herself, moaning like a lost child. She then throws herself forward, logic and reason forgotten, just wanting to express her hidden feelings.

I reach out and hold her shoulders, pulling her backwards as she thrashes and screeches, pulling her back into me, purposefully pressing her face into my chest, trying to copy what Gerard did to me on the rocks, to put her back into the foetal position, but she's struggling far too much.

Instead, I make do with pressing her into my shirt and bending over to sort of encase her.

She screams and cries, trying to push into me and pull away at the same time.

Eventually she gives up thrashing and lays there in a soggy lump, groaning and crying as her life flashes before her eyes, images of her mother hanging there, her throat encased by a rope gnawing at her bruised, welt covered neck.

She cries aloud as she remembers her first blood bath, racing round the house screaming and throwing herself at walls or down the stairs in a bid to destroy herself. She sharply twists her neck as the long forgotten feeling of rope around her wrists suddenly becomes clear as day, crying and calling out to her daddy as he tightens the cord on her wrists before walking out the door into the bright sunshine, leaving her behind.

She shudders and jolts as she remembers standing in the kitchen, drawing her finger down the blade of a kitchen knife, enjoying the blood that courses down the metal.

She gives a hiccupping sob as her brain plays back the day she cowered at the top of the stairs, peeping through the banisters into the living room as her father stamps on her mothers head, trying to grind her into dust.

And the entire time I hold her, rocking back and forth, murmuring 'It's okay, it's okay to be scared, you aren't alone, I'm here for you now' into her ear over and over again as the ghosts of her past haunt her relentlessly, seeping out from all the hidden and forgotten memories that she tried so hard to lock away for all those dark and lonely years.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N:-  
Reccommended song:-**  
**Yunas Ballad - Final Fantasy X-2  
This song inspired this chapter and was based around it.  
I highly reccommend listening to it while you read this chapter.  
**

* * *

Franks POV

"Lolita, you need to come home with me, we can't stay here." I whisper into her hair, damp from the humidity in the air. She snuffles a wordless reply, pressing her face into my shirt, savouring my smell.

I gently push her back onto her knees, allowing my fingers to trail through her damp and matted hair and down her jawline before folding my hand into my lap. Lolita gives another snuffle, not knowing what to do.

"C'mon, go get some clean and comfy clothes and whatever else you need. Once we get back to mine you can have a shower and some-thing to eat. I don't care what my old folks say, you can stay for the night if you like."

She nods, again staring blankly at the floor, tears still shining on her face. I unwillingly give a little shiver. Jeez, this place is like just out of a horror movie. It's cold, quiet, dark and musty. Not to mention the blood stains and unseen memories.

I give her a bit of a poke to encourage her to do some-thing, and she obeys by getting up and shuffling down the corridor, presumably for her bedroom. I decide to follow. As impolite as I suppose it is, I want to see more of this place, not to mention her most personal space itself.

I follow her through a door, expecting it to look the same as the rest of the house – dark, grey, dripping with blood and sinking with depression – but I'm amazed by what I find. The most striking thing is that the room is a soft pink and lilac. I gaze around in awe. It looks like the bedroom of a 5 year old girl, not a suicidal teenager.

The furniture units are white, covered in what appears to be plain junk. But then I take a closer look. On top of the chest of drawers there is a little pot containing tiny necklaces and bracelets, far too small for her wrists. Next to this pot is a tiny doll, the eyes dull and the colours faded. Beside the doll, propped against the wall, is a photo frame. I move towards it, saddened by the image it contains. A young Lolita, aged around 3, smiles out the picture, wrapped in the arms of a happy married couple. The couple lay loving, protective arms around their daughter, surrounded by the green grass of a field, picnic tables and other children in the background, running and playing. The suns shines down on the happy family, bathing them in a warm glow. I touch my finger against the glass of the photoframe.

_Poor Lolita, she had no idea what would happen._

I feel a tear prickle at my eye and rub it away quickly. I turn away, my eyes resting on her bed. The bed itself is a bunk bed; but with the lower bunk converted to a sort of sofa den. Pink and purple curtains hang around the lower bunk as if to offer privacy. Inside it's like a grotto of young Lolitas, smiling out from their glossy pictures stuck against the wall at whoever looks. They all seem to be aged before 5. The ever-happy Lolitas smile out at the make-shift sitting area, the mattress covered in all sorts of different coloured and styled cushions. From the dip in the cushions in the middle, I guess that Lolita spends a lot of her time sitting there, staring back at all those unrecognisable selves.

The bed is covered by a Barbie quilt with a matching pillow. They seem to have been recently washed, but I can tell by the fading and fraying that those covers have been on that bed for a long, long time.

On a shelf by the top bunk there is a clock, a cup and another small doll, knocked down on its side. It lays there forlornly, able to see Lolita anytime she ventures in, having recorded every emotion Lolita has dared express – in those dull plastic orbs.

I swallow, my throat dry. I look over at Lolita who stands at the wardrobe, deciding what clothes to take to my house.

I gaze into the wardrobe, my eyes falling upon all the gothic, dark outfits that hang there. Then, in the corner of the wardrobe, tucked away – I spy tiny dresses, flowery tops and heart decorated skirts. They are kept in the corner, far too small to wear, but too precious to her memory to be removed.

I blink, saddened by how different Lolita looks, how much she stands out in her own room. Like an intruder.

I move my gaze away from her and allow it to settle on a jewellery box. Around it lays all the metal jewellery she wears, so – as curiosity would depict – I step closer to see what's inside. The top is closed but the bottom draw is open, exposing tiny, brightly coloured rings, bracelets, necklaces and earrings. Again, the sorts of things a small girl would wear.

I reach out and pick up a tiny glass bracelet, the beads glinting where the pale sunlight reflects. It is far too small for her wrist, yet it has been very well kept. I roll the beads around my finger. As I do so, I notice that each bead has a letter engraved into it. I align them and read the message:

WE LOVE YOU LOLITA

The bracelet glints innocently in the sun, the heart wrenching message flashing the sun into my eyes, leaving me temporarily blurred. Waving my hand in front of my face in a bid to regain my vision, I place the bracelet back into the drawer.

Once I am able to see again, I blink my eyes at the box lid, covered in dust and evidently untouched for years.

Hesitantly, I reach out and undo the catch before swinging the lid open.

A small ballerina unfolds with the lid, crankily beginning to turn. I freeze as the ballerina turns, spewing out a clunky song in squeaky notes, tinkling a tune that I don't recognise.

I watch it turn a few times before looking back over my shoulder at Lolita, who has stopped what she is doing as she turns to watch me.

"I haven't changed this room since mummy died." she whispers, watching the ballerina turn.

She stands there, a striking contrast to the innocence of the room.

I blink back the tears that surface as I imagine how it must feel to step from the dark, blood-smeared corridors every day into this…_time trap._

To instantly transport yourself from such a messed up life to your past, as if stepping from a nightmare into the real world, where mummy is downstairs cooking your tea and daddy sits in his chair reading the newspaper, believing that all you have to do is cry "Mummy!" and suddenly every-thing in the world is okay.

How many times has she gazed into that mirror, watching herself turn from this innocent little girl into a scared, confused teenager, covered in her own blood and hidden behind her own eyes.

I can't help but let a tear fall.

Lolita places a hand softly on my shoulder.

"It's alright, it doesn't upset me. I'll change it once I get better, okay? Let's just go to your house."

I take one last look at her stolen childhood and turn back out into the dark hallway. As I leave, I glance towards the photo again, watching as Lolita picks the frame up, rests a finger lovingly against the glass, and places it photo-side down on the tabletop, mouthing "I'm sorry." at the Lolita she failed to keep alive.

Then we leave her house, the healing process whirring into life.


	36. Chapter 36

Franks POV

People stare in horror as Lolita stumbles down the street beside me. I can't blame them, I suppose she must look a sight. Blood every-where, eyeliner running down her face, smudged by the now dry tears. Her already strange clothes have become filthy from sitting on the floor and she clutches desperately at an over-night bag I hadn't noticed her packing.

Out in the sun her skin is deathly pale, almost translucent from not eating properly.

The poor girl hangs her head in shame, looking forward to my house and the promise of a long _clean _shower.

When we reach my house I'm glad to see there are no cars in the drive. I haven't been home in 3 days, having stayed with Gerard and Mikey (their parents didn't show up once).

If my parents were here they would probably try and bloody interrogate me or some-thing.

I gently take Lolitas hand as we go inside, worried that she may suddenly get scared and bolt back for the familiarity of her own home. I take her to the bathroom, both of us silent.

She gives a sort of self-comforting nod as I move towards the door to let her have a shower. She dumps her stuff on the floor and waits for me to close the door behind me before I hear her lock it firmly and switch on the shower.

Suddenly feeling the tiredness of my previous fear, I make my way down to the kitchen for some coffee while I wait for the water pipes to rattle; indicating tat the shower had been shut off.

She showers for quite a while, probably glad to wash herself in clean, comfortable surroundings. Probably glad to be able to wash her hair – I never saw any kind of shampoo or conditioner or even bodywash anywhere in her bathroom.

Once I hear the shower turn off, I finish off my coffee before venturing back upstairs. I find her standing in the middle of my room, drinking in every detail as she stares in awe, comparing how different our bedrooms are.

She turns in a circle, staring in fascination at my posters and general junk.

She seems much happier now that she's clean and in fresh clothes.

In fact, I can see the pink of her skin now that she's washed off all the dust and make-up.

Standing in the doorway I clear my throat so as not to scare her. She looks at me, her eyes registering surprise, but then smiles. I can't help but smile back when her eyes glimmer with genuine happiness.

"Um…you want me to…uh…" I motion at her wrists and her cuts and stuff.

"Sure." She gives and exaggerated shrug, arching her eyebrows, putting as much emotion into it as she can. She's going to have to get used to knowing when and where to express herself.

We walk together back down to the kitchen where the First Aid kit sits in the cupboard.

"It'll probably hurt…" I cringe as I take out a disinfectant wipe. I know from experience that this will sting like a bitch.

As gently as I possibly can, I touch a wipe against the angry raw gash on her wrist, but she still screams, pulling her hand away. She stares at me in an animalistic fear, clutching her wrist protectively. "What was that for??" she squeaks, staring down at the smear of blood on the wipe in my hand.

"I'm sorry, it's the antiseptic. Maybe the bottle won't hurt so much" I gabble as I pull a bottle of disinfectant from the cupboard, desperate not to send her into a blood rage.

I quickly unscrew the lid and hold above her now outstretched wrist. "Here goes…" I mutter, before quite literally pouring it onto her wrist. Se lets out a strangled squawk, flinching as the wound hisses and pops as the bacteria die.

I do the same for her other wrist before wrapping them in bandages, struggling to put the safety pins in as Lolita flaps her arms about in terror, trying desperately to get the pin away from her skin, probably the result of another memory.

Gasping with my previous effort I rub cream into her bruises and put plasters on her bite and scratch marks.

I work my way round all her self inflicted injuries, applying creams, antiseptic, plasters and bandages where-ever required.

As she catches a sight of her bandaged self in the mirror, she lets out a giggle and spins away. "I'm a mummy!" she squeals in glee, sticking her arms out and staggering around, groaning and grunting as she chases me playfully round the kitchen table.

Once we've had enough and collapsed in a heap on the floor, I roll myself over.

"You hungry?" I ask.

She pauses, thinking. "Actually, yeah I am. I'm starving!" her stomach gives a rumble of agreement.

"Then sit yourself down m'lady," I say in a posh voice as I pull out a chair for her "and rest yourself while I go and prepare you the finest cuisine there is!"

I bow as low as I can, shuffling backwards to the fridge, grinning as she laughs at me.

Opening the fridge, my brow creases.

Hmmm.

TV dinner, TV dinner or TV dinner.

Some cuisine.

I throw the carton on the counter, not bothering to read the instructions as I clunk the ancient microwave to full power.

"Is that all you eat around here?" she leans over me, peering over my shoulder, rolling her head against mine. I fondly tip my head back and say "Sorry m'love, 'tis all we got." I feel her cheeks move as she smiles while I go to pull the foil off.

"You lie!" she giggles, whirling away to the cupboards from which – after plenty of searching – she produces a packet of spaghetti.

"Spaghetti? That's all you want?" Personally, I'd never have thought spaghetti would be very nice on its own, and secondly, I was concerned about how long that spaghetti had been sitting in our cupboards for. We hadn't bought spaghetti in……ages.

"No! Spaghetti bolognaise, silly!" she trills, pulling a jar of sauce – after yet more searching – from the shelf.

"Spaghetti and sauce? Wow. Yummy." The sarcasm could well have been dripping from my tongue like honey.

"You have no imagination!!" Lolita sings, using her hip to nudge me out of her way so she can get into the fridge, from which she pulls out some cherry tomatoes and mince and places them on the counter next to the abandoned readymeals.

I lean against the counter, watching as she darts abut my kitchen, pulling this, that and the other from the cupboards.

She's suddenly become so energetic again, running around humming tunelessly to herself. Her eyes shine with interest and concentration.

For a moment, I could even say she looked like the Lolita in the photo frame.

That must be what it was. She's stuck in that photo frame. Her strange changes from childish to seductive was just another effect of her past. Her brain relapsed on a regular basis, sending her back to the hazy, innocent state of mind of a child of about 4. Seeing her mother hanging must have had a devastating affect on her mental state, making her emotionally unstable and nervous. Her father didn't help matters much.

_Christ Almighty…_I thought. _She's never had a break._

Even as she stands at the oven, simply cooking spaghetti, her brain is in overdrive, both consciously and subconsciously.

I step behind her, carefully wrapping my arms around her waist – not sexually at all, purely in a friendly way.

Resting my chin in the crook of her neck, I blow on the hairs that hang down around me, tipping my head towards her. She tips her head back, sliding her grey eyes towards me. We stand in a comfortable silence, until she smiles slightly and whispers:

"I'm okay, I promise."


	37. Chapter 37

Gerards POV

Beep! Beep! Beep!

"Holy crap. Ugh!"  
I roll over in my bed, grabbing wildly for my phone.  
"Hello?" I croak down the mouthpiece, groggy from sleep.  
"Gerard? I need you to come over. _Now!"_  
"What? Huh? Who is this?"  
"It's Frank. I need you to come over, please! I'm begging you!"  
Squinting, I look over at the flashing red numbers of the clock.  
_2:43 am  
_"What? It's like 3 in the morning Frank! What the Hell do you want me over now for?"  
"It's Lolita."  
"Who?"  
"Lolita! She's here! There's loads I gotta tell you Gee, just please come over!"  
"Aww fuck. Okay…okay fine. I'll be right over. Don't expect me to remember why I'm there when I turn up, okay?"  
"Okay. I'll see you in a bit."

"Aww shit."  
I wander down the dark streets, completely lost. Why does every-where look so different when it's dark? I can't tell where the Hell I am. Every street looks just like the last one I walked down. I kick angrily at the curb, sending a chunk of loose cement hurling across the road.  
As I fume, I become aware of a torch being shone down at me from a window a few houses away. I instinctively duck away, hiding behind an electricity outlet.  
"Gerard?" a voice hisses into the darkness, the torch flashing around, trying to find me. I poke my head out the corner, peering into the window.  
"Gee! Did you forget why you even left your house??"  
"Frank! No I just uh…whatever. Just let me in, okay?"  
"Just come in. No-ones around except me and Lolly."  
"Lolly??" I squint at him, thinking I've heard him wrong.  
"Yeah, Lolita. Lolly."  
_Why is he calling her Lolly? Wait, what the fuck is she even doing there??_  
I grimace as I stomp up the stairs towards his room.  
"What the Hell?? Frank! What the fuck is she doing in your bed??" I gawp at her sleeping figure. She looks a lot…_pinker_ than usual.  
Frank gives me a horrified look. "Do you…do you think I…?" he stares at me, gobsmacked. "You think I…you_ do_ don't you!! Gee! My God! I would NEVER do that!!"  
I blush insanely. Of course! How could the thought have even crossed my mind??  
"Frank…I…I'm sorry. I just…" I look over at the sleeping Lolita again.

"She's pretty once she's clean, isn't she?" He's gazing at her, a saddened expression on his face.  
"I guess you've got a lot to tell me then…" I whisper, watching him. He nods in response, looking at her slumbering figure a second more before getting up and motioning me to follow him. We go downstairs to the living room, where we sit side by side on the cushy sofa.  
"So, gonna explain why you brought me here at 3am?" I frowned as I looked at him, watching for his reaction.  
"Yeah…Lolly, she…" he trails off, unable to put his words together properly.  
It was just then, as I glanced away for a second, that some-thing hidden on the top shelf of the bookcase caught my eye. A book, hidden next to a family photo of a young Frank.  
_The Joys Of Sex_  
Oooh…shite…  
I shift around, pulling my gaze away, looking back at Frank.  
He was still gabbling on, and I just…I just couldn't help myself. I imagined him practically throwing himself at me, kissing me, reaching down and down and…  
"Gee?"  
"Hm? What? Did you say something?"  
"…only _every-thing_! Were you listening to me at all?"  
"Yeah yeah, sorry, just a bit tired." I gave a dismissive shrug, motioning for him to continue.  
He takes a deep breath and continues talking.  
Aww Frank…just shut up and _make out_ with me…  
I draw my eyes back towards that book. On it, a couple are dressed in pretty much nothing, from what I can see on the tilted cover.  
That feeling between my legs comes back, making me twitch and shift about.  
For a second, I imagine Frank crawling up to me seductively, purring into my ear.  
Then he straddles me and…  
"Gerard!!"  
"What??"  
"You're not listening to me!!"  
"I am I am! I'm just tired!! I'm listening!"  
Frank scowls slightly, before continuing with the never-ending story.  
I watch his lips, curling as he makes syllables, straightening and being pulled in as he breathes and continues.  
_Those are the most beautiful lips ever…_I just want to kiss them, touch him all over and-  
"Gee!!!!"  
"WHAT!?"  
"You got a problem?"  
"What?" I try to cover my crotch with a cushion, subtly leaning my elbows on it as if trying to make myself comfy.  
"Are you…uncomfortable?"  
Ah…shit. He's noticed.  
"No! No. I'm fine, really."  
He arches his eyebrow at me, looking me up and down.  
"Hmm…okay. You look a bit shifty."  
"Naw, I'm fine."  
He arches his eyebrow again. "That doesn't look like a very comfortable position to sit in…"  
"No? Um…why…why not?"  
"Dunno. Just doesn't…" he glances behind him at the bookcase, studying it for a second before turning back and giving me a…strange look. "Hey, Gee, can I…see that cushion for a second?"  
"What?? Why?"  
"I just want to. Give it here."  
"No!" I clutch desperately at the pillow as he digs his fingers into it, attempting to yank it away.  
"Give it!"  
"No!"  
"Give it damnit!"  
"NO!!"  
"Give-it-HERE!!!" he pulls the cushion away, yanking with such force that he falls backwards off the sofa, arms and legs flailing.  
I screech, covering the very noticeable problem in my skinnies.  
Rolling around on the floor, Frank gives a squeal of laughter at my futile attempt to cover myself.  
I lift my head to look at him, to find his face centimetres from mine.  
"Hey baby. Got a problem?" he purrs, lust surging from his pores.  
I don't even get a second to breathe, before he launches at me, lips pressing against mine.


	38. Chapter 38

Gerards POV

_Fucking finally!_

I bring my hand up behind Franks head, pressing him in but refusing to allow him entry, regardless of him running his tongue against my lip repeatedly. He begins to whine, the newfound lust desperate to be fulfilled.

He pulls his head back, staring deep into my eyes. We watch each other for a second, before he hungrily leans in for more. This time, I more than happily allow his tongue to explore my mouth, like all the times before.

_Wait a minute. The cheeky bastard! He's trying to dominate me!_

I laugh inwardly, before pressing the palm of my hand against his chest and giving him a gentle shove so that he sits up, gazing at me expectantly. Bringing myself up, I lean into him, our lips colliding again as I press him down into the sofa. His eyes glimmer as he realises that _I'm _taking control.

Despite my dominating position, Frank refuses to be beat. He's the first to slip his hands down to my crotch, rubbing my erection through the material of my skinnies, making me almost screech with pleasure. _Fuck I'm glad I don't wear boxers! _I think to myself. Unfortunately for him, Frank does, and so what I'm going to do next won't affect him so much.

Oh well.

With his hand still on my crotch area, I buck my hips forward so that his hand is trapped between the zippers of our jeans. His eyes widen, surprised by my movements. They widen even more as I begin to rock backwards and forwards. I watch as he realises what I'm doing. With his hand trapped, he's touching up both me _and _himself. I grin devilishly, rocking backwards and forwards as his eyes flutter shut as he allows me to take full control. Reaching down, I brush my hand against his between my already hard member and his growing one, rubbing a finger teasingly against the material of his jeans. He half whimpers-half groans, tilting his hips about to get the best out of what I'm doing.

Fuck it. I can't be arsed with foreplay. I pull my hips back to allow access to the zipper of his jeans and begin to pull them down.

He responds by doing the same back, slowly and seductively.

"Aww shit Frank, you really gotta quit wearing boxers, sugar" I whisper into his ear, giving the lobe a tentative lick as I do so.

He swivels his head round to me and says "I will if you want me to."

We both grin at the idea of him wandering round school commando.

"Fuck it. Take the bloody things off!" I laugh, leaning back so he can pull his jeans down and hold the waistband of his boxers with me as we slide them down together.

I go to take him in my hand but he sits up slightly, making me stop.

"Hey," he whispers "that's not fair play." He pulls his lips down, pretending to start crying.  
"Fine," I smile. "Help me out then huh? It's difficult when you're this big."

He sticks his tongue out at me, grinning as he pulls my skinnies down.

He still doesn't go for me though, instead focuses on peeling my top off and then his own. Finally, he lays back and shuffles down into the sofa, grinning like an idiot.

"That passive huh?" I laugh, leaning in to kiss him again.

"Only because I know you'll fucking take over anyway." He smiles, reaching up to me.

Our lips connect and our tongues dance again as I reach down for him, clasping him in my hand. I caress him gently, suddenly at a loss as to what to do.

Frank closes his eyes, pressing his head back into the sofa to suppress a moan.

I break my lips away from his, moving my lips down to his bare torso, swirling my tongue around his chest, a collar bone, a nipple, a stomach.

All the while, Frank squirms around, letting out tiny groans and whimpers.

Well now it's time to make him _scream_.

I forcibly shove my erection against his, smiling as he can't hold back a loud groan. I grind our hips together, pressing myself into him as much as I can.

After a few more groans, I reach down again and start to tease him with a finger, trailing it against his sensitive area.

I eventually take a hold and start to move in a rhythmitic fashion, all the time listening to his ever increasing groans.

I know he's enjoying it when he starts swearing and I manage to catch my name in it from time to time.

And I definitely know I'm getting some-where when he reaches down and takes a hold of me, moving to the same beat as me. Soon enough he's got me panting along too, listening to his loud groans and moans, waiting for a time to join in.

"Fuck!" I let out a groan as he starts to play about to a different rhythm, trailing his fingers up and down my length.

The sudden change sends my hormones into overdrive, I can feel what's about to happen already.

"Frank..Frank I-"

"Me too Gee!"

"Ungh! Shit!! I-I-"

Without any kind of warning, he bucks his hips up out of the sofa, causing me to scream out loud as pleasure courses through me.

"I-I-Frank! Fuck! FRANK!"

"Couldn't you at least wait for me to leave before you do that?"

Both Frank and I freeze, the all too familiar female voice piercing through us like shards of ice, paralysing us both, despite the fact that we're at the peak of sex.

Frank is the fast to dare to look over at her, followed by me craning my neck round to look.

She stands there, her petite figure sprawled against the doorframe, watching us calmly, one arm stretched up the wooden frame, the other bent about her stomach, holding her up as she allows her face to rest against the smooth wood.

Her grey eyes regard us in silence, a subtle yet superior smirk playing over her lips as she gazes upon our naked figures, entwined on the sofa.

Crap. My backside feels particularly exposed at this moment.

Frank reacts first, rolling onto his side, throwing me off of him onto the floor as he scrabbles desperately for some clothes, trying to cover his now fully exposed (and still turned on) privates.

Lolita grins and rolls her eyes skyward in an attempt to give us some privacy, but still letting her presence be indeed felt.

I roll on the floor for a second, trying to locate my skinnies.

Once we're semi-dressed, Lolita strides over to us in a graceful fashion. She stands beside us and waits for us to finish before allowing a humiliated Frank to lead her to the kitchen to give her some-thing to eat. As they reach the living room doorway, Lolita stops and turns to me.

"Hey Gee," she giggles.

"Yeah?" I look up, not really wanting to talk to her.

She sticks her tongue out in a girly way, giving me a cheeky wink.

"Nice bum!"


	39. Chapter 39

Franks POV

"Hey Lolly, I'm…I'm sorry, yeah?"

"Yeah yeah, s'fine. Really, I don't mind."

"Well, I'm sorry you had to see that."  
"Hey, I ain't complaining!!"

"Heh. Seriously, I completely forgot about you."  
"Hm, it's nice to know I'm loved! But really, I don't mind!"  
"…okay. You want some toast?"  
"Yes please!"

Lolita reaches across to me, taking the toast I offer her. I keep my eyes lowered to the floor, refusing to look at her face. Turning back to the toaster, I slip in some more bread.  
"Gerard? You hungry?"

"A bit…" Gerard wanders into the kitchen, also avoiding Lolitas eyes. He stands next to me, as if in some embarrassed unity. He shuffles his feet and leans into me, our hips brushing together as he leans against me, watching as I put the toast on the chopping board and butter it up.

Once our early morning breakfast is over, Lolita yawns and checks the clock.

_4:17 am_

"Well, what now?" she turns to us expectantly, waiting for one of us to answer.

Gee and I catch each others eye, both glad to be given the chance to decide.

"Bed." We say in unison, looking to Lolita for agreement.

"As long as you two are quiet." she giggles.

I grin nervously as Gerard lowers his eyes again, a blush creeping over his face. He mumbles some-thing at the ground before heading up the stairs.

We both watch him go, staring in silence at the empty stairs once he's gone up.

"Frank, I'm sorry for walking in on you." Lolly whispers, still not turning to look at me. "I should have just ignored it."

"It doesn't matter Lolly, I guess me and Gee are to blame for…doing that while you were here."

Eventually she looks at me, her eyes flashing with some-thing I don't recognise. "I'm sorry for what I did yesterday too."

"Hm?"

"For how you found me. I must have really scared you."

"At your house? It doesn't matter." To be honest, I hadn't thought about it since we'd sat there eating the spaghetti last night. Was it really yesterday that happened? Seems forever ago.

"Well…" she starts, looking to the stairs again. "I guess…I guess I'll see you when we get up again. School tomorrow, yeah?"  
"Yeah. I'll uh…I'll see you whenever we get up."

She makes her way up the stairs, keeping well away from the banister. No doubt because of another memory.

I follow her up a few minutes later, collapsing into my bed beside an already fast asleep Gerard.

_Aw damn. Gee still doesn't even know what's happened, he wasn't listening to a fucking word when I explained it to him. _Ah well. I cuddle myself down into the sheets and pure exhaustion takes over and I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

"Frank! Get up we're late! Lolitas already gone to school!"

I awake with a jerk as Gee lobs a pillow at me, rushing around the bedroom finding some clean clothes and trying to pack a bag at the same time.

"Late? What's the time?"

"10!" he cries, still trying to pack the bag while putting a shirt on inside out.

In a flash I'm out of bed, getting dressed and picking up whatever books I need for the day.

After our rush, we make our way toward school, wondering why Lolita didn't wake us up.

Upon reaching school Gerard and I kiss as we depart for our classes, swearing at a skiver who calls us faggots. In class, it's damn hard to concentrate, although I'm not sure why. My mind wanders to pointless things, as and many times as I try, I can't think of what's bothering me. The odd feelings follows me until lunch, when an excited Lolita finds Gee and I cuddling on a bench in the school gardens.

"Hey! You two have to come see this!" she gestures wildly, heading towards the music room.

Before we enter the room, she makes us promise to close our eyes. "And don't peep!!" she giggles.

She leads us by the elbows to whatever it is she wants us to see, and counts us to opening our eyes.  
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1…open your eyes!!"

I open my eyes a split second before Gerard does, to find myself looking at a table, with 2 sheets of paper laid on it.

"Ta-da!" Lolly sings, jumping about in excitement.

"Paper?" Gerard states simply, obviously not impressed.

"Yeah, but _song-_paper!!" Lolita continues, not at all put-off by Gees bluntness.

We both reach out and take up a piece of paper, mine containing a load of guitar tabs, Gerards lyrics.

"What's this?" I breathe, looking at all the notes and chords meticulously scribbled down and annotated.

Blushing, she bows her head and answers "A song. I wrote it, and…well…I was hoping we could kinda…I dunno…"  
"Make a band?" Gerard finishes for her, a sparkle of excitement in his eyes.

"Yeah! A band!" Lolly claps her hands together, rocking forward on her ankles and then leaning back on her heels again. She watches in anticipation as I flip the piece of paper over to read the music sheet, designed to help me understand the speed and length of each note.

Looking over at Gerard, I read the lyrics of the song, also accompanied by the speed and length of each syllable with a music sheet on the flip side.

"So, what's this called?" I ask, scanning the music sheet, running through what the song will sound like in my head.

"Some-thing that I think will suit every teenager ever." Lolita says, gazing into the distance thoughtfully.  
"I thought…I thought we could name it, _I'm Not Okay._"


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N:**

**Heya guys 'n gals! Just pointing out that this story is near the end.  
There's about 5 chapters left, round about. Enjoy it while it's here, folks!  
Also, keep those reviews a'comin'!**

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Franks POV

The guitars explode through the amps, sending a wave of excitement through the small crowd clumped together in the school hall.

It's been 2 weeks on since Lolita introduced us to the music she wrote, and we'd been practising non-stop since. With her help, we'd got a hold on Bob the drummer, and Mikey had opted to use his newly-acquired bass skills for the good of our band, and Lolita herself had perfected on her none-too-shabby guitar skills to become the lead guitarist. Now, here we were, playing like true rock stars on the stage of the school music room, epileptic lights and insanely loud amps included.

It was our first ever concert, with nothing but 6 songs (3 of our own and 3 covers) and a £1 profit from each ticket sold.

But damn, it was a _sell-out!_

Gerard moves across the stage, singing into the microphone and jutting his hips around like an insane person.

Known for being the gay new guy, Gee had suddenly become popular, purely by showing off the great singing voice he'd kept hidden for so long.

I too, had certainly become more well known since Lolita advertised us as 'The coolest fucking band you'll ever fucking see!' in the posters she had designed on the computer and stuck up all around school.

Crushed into the hall there were about 100 kids, which may not sound a lot, but for our first ever performance, that was one damn good turn-out.

"Thank-you for coming! I dunno if we'll do this sorta thing again, but fuck it, if we do, you'll fucking know! Thank-you again!"

The crowd cheers as he puts the microphone back onto the stand, shaking his head to rid himself of the tremendous amount of sweat thats accumulated on his forehead.

"Shit!" he yells once we get to the back of the stage. He grins insanely, locking me into a hug, laughing at our success.

Adrenaline flowing, we dance around, not caring who can see us. Lolita jumps along and joins in with us, shouting along to songs she doesn't know, just enjoying being involved with us. Gerard brings her into a hug, which she doesn't have time to react to. More slowly, I hug her too, and she clasps her hands into the material of my shirt, hugging me close, grinning like a mad person, tears of excitement streaming down her face.

"Lolly!" I smile as I wipe the tears away, cupping her chin with a thumb and forefinger. "You've got to put a lid on your emotions some-times y'know?"

"I know I know! I'm just real happy that it was such a big success! We could really make some-thing of this!"

After a few more adrenaline surges, we all clam together in a little group, Me, Gerard, Bob, Mikey and Lolita. General chatter ensued, which ended upon the subjects of Lolita having decided that she was going to get her lip pierced that night, and got up to leave for her appointment.

"I'll see you guys later, yeah?"

"Okay, see you!" we all chorused together, also getting ready to leave. I originally planned on actually going home to my parents, as I'd been staying at Gerard and Mikeys for a fortnight, my only contact with my parents being a note I left on the table telling them I was fine – but Gerard took a hold of my wrist as Mikey stated he was staying out for the night, and the look in Gerards eyes meant that he had something serious to tell me.

"Gerard, is there some-thing you want to tell me?" I turn on the sofa to look at him, crossing my legs and tucking my hands into my lap, watching him.

"Hm? Well…kinda. But I don't want to say it just now, y'know?" he tucks his arm on the back on the sofa, leaving a crook at the inner elbow, inviting me to cuddle up to him again.

I love his house, it's like he owns it all himself. I've never seen his parents, although apparently they came back one time when I was at school and Gerard decided to bunk his lesson. Apart from that, they hadn't been home in about a month. It was just him and Mikey, and now me.

I press myself into his side, focusing on the movie again. All the lights are off, with nothing but the TV giving any light or sound, or us talking. Just the way I like it, all cosy.

I stifle a yawn as he shifts his arm so that his hand dangles over my head so he can play with my hair as he watches the film, swirling a finger round, spinning circles in my hair. Laying on him like this, I feel so peaceful, like nothing in the world could ever upset me. I smile into his shirt, letting my eyes flutter shut.

"Hey Frank, do you remember our first kiss?" Gerard asks quietly, twirling another finger in my hair.

"Yeah," I smile, opening my eyes to help recreate the memory. "how could I ever forget?"

He smiles, vacantly staring at the television, also remembering.

"Bet you never thought we'd end up like this, huh?" he smiles again, memories of the last 3 weeks fleeting through his mind.

"I wouldn't want it any other way." I whisper, cuddling up to him. I couldn't think of anything better than 'like this', laying against him on the sofa late at night, his fingers twirling about on my scalp.

"Wait a sec…" he uses the remote to switch off the television, bathing us in darkness. With a click, he turns on the lamp next to us, then uses another remote to turn on the stereo, flicking through the tracks to a certain song. _Our_song.

We both sing along to the intro, flashes of the disco transporting us back into our own little world.

"I love you Frank, I really do." Gee whispers, hugging me close. If I hadn't felt his cheeks curl to a smile, I could have sworn I felt a tear run down them instead.

"I love you too Gerard."

It's moments like these I find it hard to explain. It's like it truly is you against the world, fighting for some-thing as simple as true love, just because you're both guys. Sitting there saying we loved each other, it felt like we were knocking down every-one who ever judged us because of our sexuality, like as if no matter what, they couldn't put us down, for no matter how hard they tried to destroy us, we would both turn around and pick up the pieces, mending our broken hearts and moving forward again, seemingly with no-one behind us to support us, but we both knew now that there _were_people out there who would march behind us, people like Bob, who had more than happily accepted it when Gerard and I kissed, and Mikey, who since the argument seemed to have seriously thought about things, and had apologised about getting angry, saying that he understood and that he accepted it. And then there was Lolita, having never judged either of us for a second, or doubted who we were. Although she continued to go home to her house of horrors, she had proven that she was indeed mending her own broken heart by giving the house her equivalent of a complete make-over. She had spent hours after school cleaning away the blood and dirt, moving furniture around so that each room was not a picture-perfect memory of whatever incident had occurred.  
Although she had not been able to bear changing her own bedroom in any way, she now resorted to either sleeping in the spare room or on the sofa, away from the bad dreams, but still able to go and remember her past self whenever she felt the need to, a desire that was now, fortunately, not so needed.

With those thoughts I rested my head on Gerards chest, listening to his heartbeat and allowing the tears to slide down my face.

"I love you too Gerard, _forever_."


	41. Chapter 41

Franks POV

"Frank, there was some-thing I didn't tell you last night, and I meant to, but I never really got round to it."

It was the next night, and Gerard and I were now round my house, in my bedroom, sitting on the bed, simply enjoying one anothers company again.

"Yeah? What was it?" I ask, glancing out of the window again to make sure there's no signs of my parents coming home. They shouldn't do, they'd left a note on the fridge for me, giving me all their plans for the week and numbers to call if I decided I wanted to come and stay at home again and it said they were out tonight.

He sighs through his nose, looking away as he tries to think of how to put it. Clasping his hands, I give them a gentle squeeze to encourage him to tell me.

"I…I know it's a weird thing to say, and I really don't want you to get creeped out, which is why I don't know whether to say it or not, because I'm afraid you won't see me the same, or I'll say it wrong and you'll think I'm being horrid or some-thing…" he's babbling on, putting off having to say it, looking any-where but at me as he tries to force it out.

Silently, I put a finger to his lips, cutting him off, I then lean in and kiss him on his now silenced lips. "Don't worry, just say whatevers on your mind, baby."

He looks down at the floor, taking in a breath before shuffling on his bum to face me on the bed – which I copy.

"Frank…"

"Yes?

"I……well…I-"

"Yes?"

"…I want to go all the way with you." He blurts out, redness creeping across his face as he looks away, fearful of my reaction. "I know it's an immature way of saying it, but I want to take our relationship to like…the next level, you know? I mean, it's not like I'm a sex-maniac or some-thing, it's just that…well…I feel like if we do that then we…well…"

"Belong to one another?" I finish for him, slightly taken aback.

"Yeah…" he can't look at me, staring at the floor, pulling his hands away from mine, terrified that I'll take it the wrong way and break up with him, throw him out and refuse to acknowledge him.

"What…you mean, right now?" I ask, bemused.

"No! No! I-well…I just wanted to tell you that, just so…I don't know, you understand that I feel that way and so that…I don't scare you or anything next time we…well…"

Gobsmacked, I give a slow nod, his words still sinking in. I know I shouldn't have said what I said next, but I mean…I really, _really _couldn't help it. I just wanted to…_make sure_.

"You mean…" I hesitate "…'butt sex'?"

He screws his face up, turning away and making a kind of "Nngh" noise. "If…if you want to put it that way…then, yeah I guess." Discomfort emanates from him, radiating off of him like a bomb. I wouldn't have been surprised if the neighbours had banged on the wall and complained at us for making such a huge amount of awkwardness.

I gape at him in a mixture of amazement and horror. Yes, it's great that he feels that way but…I never actually thought it would come to _this_.

This is just little…weird.

"Anyway…we better go to school, huh?"

"Gee…"

"…yeah?"

"…I think I agree…"

"Hm? With what?"

"I want to go all the way with you too."

"Oh. Awesome…heh."

"Nah but Gee…"

"Yeah?"

"I mean _now!"_

His eyes widen to the size of saucers, regarding me as I lean in towards him, taking his lower lip gently in my teeth.

_Fuck school, this is __**way**__ more interesting!_

I pull my head back, bringing him with me, staring into his eyes as I reach my fingers up to his jaw and place them on his chin, letting go of his lip and placing my mouth against his.

"Frank…" he moans into my mouth. "Are you absolutely sure? I don't want you to regret any-thing…" Even as he says it, he curls his fingers in my hair, pulling me into him, urging me to carry it on.

"Gee, if it's with you and it makes you happy, there's nothing _to _regret."

He smiles into the kiss, pressing me against him, crotch-to-crotch on my bed, his hands greedily groping my backside, obviously inspired by the recent conversation,

I pull away from the kiss, pressing my forehead against his, just like after we first kissed, staring into his eyes and breathing the same air. It wasn't quite as magic as before, but with the anticipation of what was going to happen, it was sure a Hell of a lot _saucier _than before.

"Gerard Arthur Way…" I whisper into his ear. He turns his head slightly towards me, waiting for the words he hopes are going to come.

"Fuck me, _right now!"_


	42. Chapter 42

**Here we go, my little perverts :)**

**Thought I might as well give you the update today, as I'm gigging tonight and tomorrow night, which means I may not get round to updating again until around Wednesday.**

**So yeah, here's the chapter I bet some people have been holding their breaths for!  
_(btw, you have to remember I wasn't very good at smut back then, so it may not be as good as some other stuff you read.)_**

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Franks POV

_I can't believe we're about to do this! I really can't believe it!!  
_My breathing quickens as he unbuckles my belt, letting my jeans fall to the floor.

"You went commando babes…" he grins, locking our lips together as I undo his trousers and pull them off too. We break the kiss to pull off our tops, until we're simply standing there naked in my bedroom.

"Bed?" Gerard arches his eyebrows at me.

"Nah. Let's go for some-thing more new." I say, swiping my hand along my desk, sending papers, pens and books flying, but I don't care.  
Turning around again, I sink into him as he wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me up so that I'm straddling him in mid-air before placing me down on the desk, his hands roaming all over my body, mine more than happy to stay on his hips, dissolving into moans as he strokes my inner thigh, impatient.

"Can't wait through the foreplay?" I stick my tongue out in a cheeky grin, relishing the pained look he gives, a 'I can't help it!' kind of look.

"Okay." I mutter, suddenly losing confidence as my stomach knots at the idea of what I'm about to do.

"Um…how do I do this?" I look to him for help, suddenly feeling lost.

"Well…um…you got any uh…lube?"

"No." I blush. "I never really expected for this to happen."

He gives an awkward shrug.  
"Well…there's always the natural lube I suppose."

I arch my eyebrows at him, waiting for him to continue and enlighten me.

As I stare at him, he brings a hand up to his mouth, isolating his index and middle finger from the rest and begins to slowly, seductively draw his tongue along them, coating them in saliva, watching me as I watch him in fascination, my eyes unable to draw away from his now coated fingers as he gives them another lick, just to be sure.

Nervous, I give a gulp, cringing slightly as he moves towards me, obviously at a loss as to what to do. Any time he's done this before, it's been with an experienced gay guy, the steps followed out drenched with lust and passion, not with an awkward guy who regards his fingers with a tint of horror as he imagines just _where_those fingers have to go.

I shrink backwards slightly, but Gerard doesn't notice. He takes another step towards me, waiting for me to make my move. I can't. My mind has totally blanked. What do I do now??

"Just turn around babes." Gerard whispers, noticing the blank expression on my face. So I do. I turn myself around so that I'm facing the wall and kind of lay myself on the desk, not sure what to do.

He steps up behind me, and hesitates. But he recovers and gently, so so gently, puts one finger inside me. I flinch, not sure how to react.  
"It's okay sugar, you're doing fine." He whispers, inserting another finger. I bite my tongue and squirm slightly, almost screaming as he spreads his fingers scissor-like. "One more?" he asks gently, leaning to the side to read my face for a reaction.

I give a kind of 'Mmph." noise to tell him to continue, screwing my eyes shut and practically biting my tongue off as he inserts the third finger and spreads that too, trying to ease my discomfort. Eventually he pulls the fingers out and leans over me, pressing his chest against my back, trailing his other hand down my torso gently, yet seductively, trying to help me feel better.

"Ready Frankie?" he awaits my answer, and by the tone of his voice I can tell that he genuinely cares about how I answer, that if I want I can back out now or I can give him the word and we can truly belong to one another.

I stare at the whorls and marks on my desk for a moment, seriously considering what is about to happen.

I allow the flashes of my time with Gerard to fly across my mind, the time in the closet, my first experience under the pier, all the looks we've given each other, the times we've spent just _talking_.

"Okay." I nod. "Let's do it." I whisper.

Gerard watches me for a second, trying to read my body language. Failing to find any signs of me lying for the Hell of it, he readies himself.

I could have screamed in agony as he entered me, but I screwed my eyes shut again and bit down on my lip, pressing into the desk to relieve the pain.

"I'm sorry baby, I know it hurts, but it will get better, I promise." his voice is filled with concern and worry, upset at being the cause of my pain.

I shake my head, tears spring to my eyes, a reaction to the pain.

He pulls out and pushes in again, a little harder, but still gentle nonetheless.

After a few pumps, he finds a rhythm, his other hand still twirling around on my stomach in a reassuring pattern. Eventually I feel I can allow him to travel further down, taking a hold of his hand and moving it to where I want it to go. Taking my hint, Gerard starts to pump my length in sync with his own movements.

Having such a sensitive part of my anatomy tended to at this point causes a rush of pleasure, making me groan aloud. Then, just like that, the pain subsides, being replaced with an indescribable feeling. It takes me a second to register, but I then make my appreciation obvious with a long, loud moan.

Taking this as his cue, Gerard leans forward and nibbles along the back of my neck, sucking on the skin, leaving little red marks.

He's panting like a fucking dog, groaning as he realises that I'm enjoying his services. I begin to rock with his motions, panting and moaning, groaning his name as he groans mine, my head feels like it's going to explode as I come to terms with just how good this feels.

"Frank…Frankie baby…I'm gonna…ungh! Shit!" Gerard cries, continuing with both his motions regardless, only interested in my happiness.  
"Me too babes-" I cry back, biting my teeth as I stare down at the desk, grunting as I try to stop myself.

"Fuck it, I gonna come now! NOW!" he screams, throwing his hips forward, straight into me, hitting the sensitive spot that causes me to thrust forwards too, screaming his name like he screams mine as we lose ourselves, him into me and me into his hand.

Exhausted, I collapse onto my desk, him pulling out and falling on top of me, his hot and sweaty face resting on my already hot back as he pants, trying to get his breath back.

For a minute we lay there, breathless, our brains buzzing as we cool down.

"Well, now that we belong together, I guess we'd better make our way to band practise, yeah? Lolitas got us a gig for later on, apparently it's a sell-out already, even though she only announced it last night."

"Awesome!" I feel him smiling, his skin brushing against mine.

We head to school, holding hands, not caring who can see us as we swing our hands, laughing and chattering down the road.

Our happiness evaporated however, once we approached the school gates. The ambulances otherwise wouldn't have bothered us, if it wasn't for the person they were tending to.

The ambulance drivers stooped over a body, examining the impact of a speeding car.

Gawping, both I and Gerard recognise the black-clothed person with the black and red streaked hair at the same time.

"Lolita!!" we cry.


	43. Chapter 43

Franks POV

"No no nooo!!" I scream, wrenching my hand away from Gerards as I sprint over to her crumpled body. "Lolly, Lolly! Please Lolly no!" I scream, tumbling into hysterics as I lift up her head.

"Hey! Hey stop him!" the paramedics cry, pointing desperately at me, looking to the police officers for help.

"C'mon son, you gotta go."

"No! No!" I cry, clawing at the ground and pressing my weight into the floor so they can't move me.  
"I'm sorry son, but this is a family-only crisis."  
I stare down at her body, my breath causing her hair to flutter.  
"I…I'm her brother!" I yell, forcing myself towards her again. The officer holding me cocks his eyebrow. _Of course, Lolly and I look nothing alike…_

"Half-brother…" Gerard adds quickly, having come over when he saw the officer lunge at me. Turning, the officer looks Gerard up and down. "And who are you?" he asks, eyeing him up and down.

Gerard puffs his chest up and tilts his chin defiantly. "I'm Franks boyfriend." He states firmly.

His defiant tone is met with an evil glare of irritation, and the officer leaves me as he takes Gerards arm.  
"I'm sorry kiddo," he says. "But it's family only." Gee turns to me and gives a nod as the officer leads him away to the police tape, where he stands with his hands in his pockets as he watches me in concern.

"Lolly…" I turn back to her, looking upon her face, flawless apart from a cut on her cheek which leads a small trickle of blood, a shocking contrast to the whiteness of her face.

She flickers her eyes open, rolling them about before she lets out a word that breaks my heart.  
"Daddy?" she squeaks, her vision settling on me.

"No Lolly…I'm not daddy." I whisper, choking back my tears. I take her battered hand in mine and hold it to my face, letting her feebly stroke her fingers against my cheek.

She struggles to swallow for a second, after which she takes a breath and mutters my name, becoming short of breath even with just that one syllable.

She pulls her lips back in a thin smile.

"Hey Frankie baby." She whispers, brushing her fingers more confidently over my skin.

"Lolly," I whisper, clasping her hand. "Why aren't the paramedics taking you?" I glance over to the men who stand awkwardly, watching us in silence.

She swallows awkwardly again, slipping her hand out of mine and rolling her head away from me, facing the school.

"Lolly?" I lean over her to see her face, to find that tears are streaking down it.

"Lolita!!" I cry, rolling her back over.

Like I've flicked a switch, her face hardens, and she turns back into the Lolita I saw on the bathroom floor, her wrists slashed and her body mutilated.

"I told them not to save me." she hissed, glaring up at the sky as if it were the reason she had refused to be helped.

I stare at her in horror. _Told them not to save her? What the fuck??"_

Avoiding my eyes, Lolita rolls her head to the side again.

"W…why?" That one question that requires so much to answer.

She stares into the distance a second more before looking at me again, her eyes filling with tears. With alarm I notice that the blood from the top of her head has also run down into her left eye, filling the pupil and iris with the fluid of life.

"Because I can't take this any-more Frank."

"W-what??"

"I'm sorry Frankie, I really am. I know I've made it look like I've been on top of the world – and from time to time I have – but now that the chance to escape is finally here…I want to take it."

She smiles, a forced smile on a pained face. She blinks, and the blood in her eye trickles from under her eyelid.

_Lolita, crying tears of blood._

"No…please." I murmur, crying also.

I lift her head into my arms and allow her to press her face into my shirt. Like this, I can feel just how frail she is and how little energy she has left.

"I'm sorry Frankie, I really am."

"For what?"  
"For……for…" She buries her face in my shirt, rubbing her face against the material, unknowingly rubbing her precious blood onto it.

"For what Lolly? Why are you sorry?"  
She takes a shuddery breath, the tears rolling freely down her face.

"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, when you could have done some-thing about it…"

I press her closer, trying to give her some of my body warmth.

"Tell me what? What could I have stopped?" I desperately press a hand over a gash on her arm, but my move is ineffective. The blood just keeps seeping out of every other cut.

The tears slip down her face and she stares into my eyes, watching me.

Her eyes fall to behind me, fixing her gaze on Gerard. I turn, and am shocked to see him nod at her, his face grim. Lolita nods back.

"Frank…" she whispers. "I'm really sorry. But…but I love you."  
I freeze, staring down into her cold, sad grey eyes.

"Huh?"

"I told Gee how I was feeling, and he said it was love. I'd fallen in love with you."

I gawp at her, a mix of affection and horror swirling in my mind.

"He didn't mind…or so he said." She carried on, regardless of my shock. "He said he really didn't mind, that he understood how I was feeling, even if I didn't."

She swallows painfully, squinting her eyes. "I told him I wouldn't say any-thing, I'd see if it just went away when I went to sleep. But it didn't Frank. It didn't."

"Lolly…" I whisper, at a loss for words. I think back to after our first performance, when I'd hugged her. Only now did I notice how close she had held me, how she had pressed her head into the crook of my chin.

"The gig…" I muttered, absent –mindedly.

"The people are in there." She nods towards the school. "They're waiting for you. So are Mikey and Bob."

"We're not a band without you, Lolly." I whimper.

"That's what Ray Toro is for." She smiled. "He's the best lead guitarist I could find. You'll get on well. And don't diss his afro." She smiles again, her eyes dimming.

I shift her about in my arms, bringing her head more level.

"And one more thing Frank…" she starts.

"No." I stop her words. "Not one more thing. This is not going to be the last thing you say, Lolita. It isn't!" I sob, shaking her slightly to awaken her sagging body. "We can't play without you! We're not going to play, you're far more important!"

"No Frank!" she gasps, bringing a hand up to my arm, clawing at it in an attempt to hold on to me.

"You're not going to stop playing! Never stop playing! This band is going to do things no other band even hoped of doing! This band is going to save thousands of kids lives! Don't quit playing, please." She looks into my eyes, searching silently within them, desperately trying to change my mind.

"…fine." I whisper.

She nods again, sagging back into my arms.

"Like I said, one last thing."  
"…what's that?"

"I thought up a band name."

I force back a sob, biting my lip and looking at her through teary eyes. The sudden rain that's formed doesn't help my vision either.

"Frankie, please, please name it what I thought, yeah?" she begs me, wanting me to promise before she's told me.

"Okay." I nod at her, wiping away the rain spots forming on her face. "What's it going to be called?"

"My Chemical Romance."

"My Chemical Romance…?" I repeat the words, rolling them on my tongue, getting a feel for it, thinking about the image I see of us, _My Chemical Romance._

"Lolly…Lolly, that's-" I freeze.

Lolitas eyes stare blankly at the sky, her body slumps against me and her fingers slip from my wrist.

Her final silvery tears escape from her eyes, eyes that are and have always been tainted, empty.

Her eyes so vacant and stained.


	44. Chapter 44

**Hey, thanks to all who reviewed, but I gotta say...this fic ain't over just yet!!**

There's still this chapter and one more to go.

But it's nice to know every-body's final thoughts lol  
So uh...yeah.  
You have 2 more chapters yet, peeps!

* * *

Franks POV

"Come on son, she can't stay here." A paramedic rests a hand on my shoulder, giving it an ever so slight squeeze.

The rain continues falling, getting harder and harder, as if each drop is trying to wash away the blood on her body.

I'm numb, staring down at her face, propped in my arms.

"Is she…is she really gone?"  
"I'm afraid so."

"But…she looks like she's sleeping." I whimper, avoiding the truth.

"They always do kiddo, they always do."

I stand aside, watching as the stretcher she lies on is put into the back of the ambulance.

"Can I…can I have a moment with her?" I can't bear to see her simply disappear. Besides, I need to tell her some things.

Getting into the ambulance seemed so tiring. I was drenched and freezing and I didn't really know what I was going to do.

Settling beside her, I take her cold white hand in mine and lace our fingers together.

"Lolly…I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye earlier. You slipped away before I had a chance." I murmur, unable to look into her still open eyes.

"I suppose…I suppose that in a way, I kind of loved you back, you know? It wasn't like how I feel about Gee, but it was still a kind of love."

"What the Hell am I saying? I'm making no sense whatsoever.

"Erm…I…" my stuttering trails off into silence, the only other sounds around being the dripping off of our clothes and my shivering. Despite the cold, Lolita does not shiver. She lays still on the stretcher, silent and unmoving.

"Lolita…I'm sorry. I came in to say things but…but I don't know what there is to say. The only thing I can think of is the band. My Chemical Romance. That was an awesome name, you know? I can see it now, gigs all over the place, fans every-where. And you know what Lolly? We're going to save people. We're going to save people just like you. No matter what, we'll help them in whatever way we can. I don't care if people think we're fake or whatever, as long as we save people ,I don't care. We're going to be just like you wanted Lolly, just like your dream. I promise."

Leaning over her, I use my middle and index finger to close her eyes and brush a hand through her hair. I hesitate for a second, wary of what I'm about to do. Then I lean down and lightly kiss her.

"Thank-you Lolita, for every-thing. I won't let you down."

With that, I leave the ambulance, looking back at her for one last time before I shut the ambulance door and head in with Gerard, to the bunch of fans awaiting us, and our future.


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N:**

**Yup.  
Buckle up babes, 'cos here we go.**

* * *

Gerards POV 

TIME LAPSE

"Thank-you for coming everybody, really, I can't tell you how great it is to be here!" I shout into the microphone, and grin as the thousands of people call back.

I glance over my shoulder at the band, who all smile back. Mikey, Bob, Ray, Frank. Four amazing people who mean the world to me. I motion to Frank to come over, and he obediently moves to my side, dipping his head, as he knows what is coming next.

"Now, you know we like to have fun with our songs, but this next song is extremely special to Frank and I. You see, years ago we knew an amazing girl. She endured one of the most horrible lives I have ever known…and her death wasn't any kinder to her either. This song was written for her, 5 years on the anniversary of her death. It's called 'Sleep'."

I hand the microphone to Frank, allowing him his say.

"Lolita was an amazing person." Franks begins, tears prickling in his eyes. "She was – and still is – such an important part of my life. Gerards too. And not only was she such a wonderful person, but it was thanks to her that we are here today. Thank-you Lolita. Rest In Peace."

He hands the microphone back to me and takes his place, readying Pansy, the guitar that Lolita so lovingly placed in his care.

I turn to the crowd, thousands upon thousands of kids, all wearing My Chemical Romance shirts and hoodies, hats and belts…you name it. They all quieten as the opening for Sleep comes on.  
_How many people out there _– I wonder – _are like Lolita? In any way?_

My eyes settle upon a shirt that has 'MCR SAVED ME' scrawled upon it. I smile slightly. That is why we are here. That is the reason we carried on. I bow my head and start singing.

Franks POV

I glance up to see Gerard smile as his eyes settle on the shirt I spotted earlier. I can't help but smile too.

As long as we save lives, we all know that Lolita lives on. And so I shall play, Gerard shall sing and the band shall continue until that slogan is emblazoned upon every fans shirt – until every kid shall have some-one to turn to and until Lolitas dream is fulfilled.

Until then, My Chemical Romance shall live on, to **the end**.


End file.
